Posts filed under “General Gonzo”
Alberto Opens His Mouth And Removes All Doubt
(1) Ever since Alberto “Buttercheeks” Gonzales started to disgrace the office of the Attorney General of the United States — preening himself every time someone called him General Gonzales — there has been active speculation exactly how stupid the man really is. Buttercheeks, it seems, finally tired of the debate, and decided to settle the [...]
Buttercheeks’ Lapse Of Memory Failure
Alberto “Buttercheeks” Gonzales has had a sudden lapse of memory failure. That is to say, he now recalls things again. He was clearly better off, I think, being unable to recall anything and everything of any significance. Because what he remembers now does not uniquely comport with what actually happened. Or what he himself said [...]
The Very Definition of Idiotic Fatuous Ass
Joe Lieberman is one of the more idiotic fatuous asses in the Senate. Strong evidence in support of that proposition comes from the statement he produced yesterday in condemnation of the very narrow investigation Attorney General Eric Holder has authorized into detainee abuse by CIA interrogators. The terms of the investigation are that a special [...]
GOP Attack On CIA
Nine top Senate Republicans are calling the CIA a thoroughly unprofessional and dysfunctional organization, which cannot be trusted to protect the country against future terrorist attacks. Specifically, they think the CIA is likely to deliberately pass up “opportunities to prevent attacks” and “policies to protect the nation”. The Republicans with this dim view of the [...]
Well-Qualified Enough
Alberto “Buttercheeks” Gonzales, who was once bruited about as a deserving candidate for the Supreme Court — based entirely on what we can delicately describe as his felicity with kneepads in the service of George Bush — has had the colossally poor judgment to offer this left-handed compliment to Sonia Sotomayor: I have no questions [...]
Buttercheeks Invokes Climate Change
Alberto “Buttercheeks” Gonzales, in a startling departure from Bushworld orthodoxy, conceded today that climate change is real. Here he is, speaking to David Weigel of The Washington Independent: I asked him whether he would participate in a “truth commission,” as proposed by Sen. Pat Leahy (D-Vt.), to look into alleged law-breaking by the Bush administration. [...]
Mile High Club
GONZALES: The last thing he [former President Bush] said as he was getting off the plane — he kissed me on the forehead — and he said, “Just stay strong.” […] HERMAN: Any tears shed on the plane by anybody? GONZALES: By me, yeah. There were a few. Now that Bush is a private citizen, [...]
The Eyes Of The Law
Because we’re all equal in the eyes of the law, when an investigation by the Bush Justice Department’s Inspector General finds that a former top Justice Department official broke the law, the relevant U.S. Attorney’s Office in the Bush Justice Department declines to prosecute. Because we are, after all, you know, a nation of laws. [...]
Casualtor, Chief, Not Casualty
Alberto “Buttercheeks” Gonzales, unburdening himself to the WSJ: I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror. I would dearly love to have Buttercheeks recite a list of who some of the other casualties are. Gonzales also asked, straight from the heart: What is it that I did that [...]
More Sloppiness At ThinkProgress
On Tuesday, I wrote about ThinkProgress ascribing a speech by Condi Rice to George Bush, an error that has now been fixed, but which stood uncorrected for a good long while. Yesterday, they had another sloppy post about Condi Rice. The headline reads: Report: Gonzales And Rice Appear To Have Lied To Congress About Vetting [...]