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Democrats are apparently, not the only ones who regard Christine O’Donnell’s primary victory as good news.

Today, CNBC aired a segment titled “When it comes to the market, is the Tea Party good news or bad news?” Hugh Johnson of the investment firm Hugh Johnson Advisors and Andy Busch of BMO Capital Markets joined hosts Larry Kudlow, Trish Regan, and Melissa Francis to discuss Republican radical Christine O’Donnell Senate primary victory in Delaware.

All the guests and hosts appeared to agree that O’Donnell’s victory was a good thing for Wall Street…
REGAN: So when it comes to markets, is the Tea Party and this victory in Delaware good news or bad news?

JOHNSON: You know in a strange sort of way, I think it’s good news because it first of all indicates passion but its passion on the part of the Republican Party. The passion is, we’re kind of tired, we’re fed up with big government and raising taxes.

Of course, just because this gaggle of CNBC hosts and pundits regards it as good news for Wall Street, doesn’t mean that’s necessarily true. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if, statistically, the fact that they regard it as good news makes it more likely than not to be bad news.

Besides, I would have thought Christine O’Donnell’s victory indicates passion against masturbation more than anything else. Doesn’t that have to be bad news for jerk-offs of all stripes? Including, but not limited to, cable TV hosts and cable TV pundits and Wall Street bankers?

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Speaking of O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation crusade, it’s not really as simple as “O’Donnell believes masturbation is wrong”. Or even, “O’Donnell believes masturbation is a form of adultery”.

Tuesday night, hot on the heels of O’Donnell’s victory, The Rachel Maddow Show treated us to this video footage of O’Donnell’s 1996 appearance on MTV‘s “Sex In The 90s”.

Here’s the part about our “God-given sexual desires” that I really love:

You’re gonna be pleasing each other. If he already knows what pleases him, and he can please himself, then why am I in the picture?

Here’s the Cliff Notes gloss: According to O’Donnell, it’s not just the act of masturbation that’s reprehensible. Just knowing how to masturbate undermines a marriage.