When the history books tell us that Abraham Lincoln fought to abolish slavery, that’s just another lousy left wing lie.

According to Rick Barber, an ultra-right-wing congressional candidate in Alabama’s 2nd district, Lincoln didn’t abolish slavery at all, he just nationalized it. He killed it off in the private sector only so that slavery could become a government monopoly. Yessir, Abraham Lincoln shamelessly turned the federal government into a monopoly slave owner.

Rick Barber is talking, of course, about taxation.

Rick Barber’s new ad follows up from his previous spot, in which Barber promised to seek President Obama‘s impeachment, and a George Washington impersonator told viewers to “gather your armies” against the tyranny of the Obama administration.

“Hey Abe,” Barber asks. “If someone is forced to work for months to pay taxes so that a total stranger can get a free meal, medical procedure or a bailout, what’s that called? What’s it called when one man is forced to work for another?”

The Lincoln impersonator answers, “Slavery,” followed by a rapid-fire montage of Southern African-American slavery, Communist labor camps, and Nazi concentration camps.

(Lincoln, of course, was the President “who implemented the first income tax in this country’s history”. Evidently, he has come to deeply regret doing so.)

Rick Barber has also “declared that the income tax is a tyrannical act that forces Americans to spy on themselves for the government”.

The most painful part is that we didn’t even know how our own government had degraded us. We didn’t even realize that we have been spying on ourselves. And we certainly didn’t realize that we are slaves. That has to be the most pernicious form of slavery: to take away not only our freedom, but also all consciousness of the fact of our slavery.

But at least, when the Tea Party comes to power, we can have ourselves another nice little civil war, and wipe out this second scourge of slavery.