Rep. Pete Sessions is the chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC), but his most enduring claim to fame, as of now, is his bold vision that the proper and fitting role model for Republicans in the time of Obama is the Taliban.

Yesterday, Sessions announced that he has decided to target 80 vulnerable House Democrats next year.

On the assumption that Sessions will feel compelled to follow his own advice, even if nobody else intends to, I figured Democrats better do the boy scout thing, and Be Prepared. An application was submitted in short order to the google gods for Taliban “weapon of choice”, and here’s what came back.

There seems to be some degree of unanimity among the google gods that vulnerable House Democrats should plan fundraising campaigns for body armor and armored Humvees, since the main threat is likely to be IEDs.

(Perhaps recruiting Joe the Plumber and/or Sarah Palin as human shields would also be effective? Both of them would appear to have time on their hands, a strong or urgent desire for money, and a demonstrated record of willingness to do anything for headlines or money, or both.)

Slightly more dated, but still relevant if Sessions’ offensive coordinators (like the too-many-chiefs of the Republican party) are living in the past, and have not kept current with Taliban tactics, is the threat of kidnappings. “Martyrdom seekers” cannot be ruled out either (pdf).

(If Sessions were looking to emulate the good guys in Afghanistan instead of the bad guys, House Democrats could have looked forward to Viagra attacks.)

As to how Sessions plans to raise the money to effectively target 80 Democrats, he didn’t exactly say, but I imagine the NRCC staff is already boning up (if you’ll pardon the term) on poppy cultivation.