Mike Huckabee has evidently pondered the problem of how to bring Republicans bouncing back into political relevance at the national level. And he has come up with a dynamite solution: take a discredited slogan from the most discredited Republican president in living memory, tweak it slightly, and sell it like snake oil.

In a speech peppered with his vintage folksiness and storytelling, Huckabee, the first former candidate to speak to attendees of the three-day conference, strongly criticized President Bush, who he said lost touch with the party’s small government values. He said voters want to see Republicans return to their free market roots, and he debuted a phrase that sounded like a campaign slogan. The GOP, he said, should be exercising “competent conservatism.”

Given the recent evidence of George Bush’s presidency, and the even more recent spectacle of Republican congressional behavior in a time of acute economic crisis, Republicans may have a tough time selling Americans on the idea that conservatism today is either compassionate or competent.

In fact, it is entirely possible that the only slogan that will fit today’s Republican party in the mind of Americans is “TP for my bunghole”.