1115.org

At the risk of cannibalizing my own work, I would like to make a suggestion for how America should treat John McCain after November 4. That is to say, after McCain gets creamed more badly than any presidential candidate has ever been creamed in living memory.

Presumably McCain’s secret service protection will be withdrawn after the election (although it may be prudent to put him on a suicide watch). So after November 4, every woman who comes within arm’s reach of McCain should say “Shame on you, John McCain, for everything you have done to shame America!”, and then either spit in his face or give him one tight slap.

It may sound like I’m kidding, but I am actually dead serious. At the very least, we need to shame this man, to really rub his nose in it. And this seems to be a perfectly reasonable way to go about it. Imagine if McCain can’t go anywhere without running the risk of being slapped by women who say “Shame on you for everything you have done to shame America!” He’d have to just hunker down in some underground bunker, and never make any public appearances. Stepping out in public only in a bubble that allowed no one to come within slapping distance would make him look ludicrously wimpy. Stepping out in public without that bubble of protection would make him look ludicrous, as he got slapped by women all over the place. I think that’s exactly what we need to create. A no-win situation where he gets shamed if he does, and he gets shamed if he doesn’t.

Of course, that’s just one suggestion. After November 4, anyone who wishes to personally express to John McCain’s face their heartfelt disapproval of his vile and hateful campaign tactics will have a wide range of self-expression options. So if you prefer to fling a condom filled with dog poop at his face, more power to you. Or if you prefer to just express yourself very colorfully in words, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Especially if you use some of the words that McCain is fond of using when he’s beside himself in apoplectic rage.