Maybe Todd Palin won’t have to abduct Joe Biden after all, or force him into a gunshot gay marriage in order to fulfill his burning ambition to be a vice-presidential spouse.

Judging by Sarah Palin‘s performance over the Alaskan legislature’s Troopergate investigation, we’re going to have two vice-presidents come January. One would be the duly elected Joe Biden. And the other would be the truly delusional Sarah Palin.

The report of the Alaskan legislature’s Troopergate investigation was released on Friday.

Before that report came out, Palin took the opportunity to effectively clear herself of any unethical behavior. And then after the report found that Palin had “abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 39.52.110(a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act” (a finding that’s kind of hard to miss — by most people with a pulse and an I.Q. exceeding their age, anyway — since it is the very first finding in the report), Palin celebrated that finding by declaring that she was

very very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing, any hint of any kind of unethical activity there … Very pleased to be cleared of any of that.

Presumably, there will be an official press release by Sarah Palin before November 4 that she has determined that she stands elected as vice president.

And then after McCain-Palin gets truly creamed on November 4, Sarah Palin will be there beaming from ear to ear, and declaring how very very pleased she is to be assuming the vice-presidency of these here United States.

The term “shadow government” may be about to gain a whole new meaning. Maybe Sarah will even make it to the Guinness Book of World Records, and make us all so very proud to be an American? (They must have some “lunatic” category that she not only fits but tops.)

Meanwhile, I would really like to know why she hasn’t awarded herself the Nobel Peace prize yet. Doesn’t she know how many snowmobiles she can buy for Todd with the prize money?