When John McCain actually showed up in Washington on Thursday to participate in the bailout plan negotiations, what he chiefly did was keep his lip firmly zipped:

Despite indicating that his presence was pivotal in Washington for these bailout negotiations, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said almost nothing during the meeting with Bush:
Bush turned to McCain, who joked, “The longer I am around here, the more I respect seniority.” McCain then turned to Boehner and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) to speak first.

Boehner was blunt. The plan Paulson laid out would not win the support of the vast majority of House Republicans. It had been improved on the edges, with an oversight board and caps on the compensation of participating executives. But it had to be changed at the core. He did not mention the insurance alternative, but Democrats did. Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, pressed Boehner hard, asking him if he really intended to scrap the deal and start again.

No, Boehner replied, he just wanted his members to have a voice. Obama then jumped in to turn the question on his rival: “What do you think of the [insurance] plan, John?” he asked repeatedly. McCain did not answer.

Honest John had declared that he was going to return to Washington immediately after last night’s debate, all the better to help with the bailout negotiations again. But it seems that Johnny Come Lately never showed up on Capitol Hill at all today. And the McCain campaign, of course, has their usual thoroughly-unconvincing-to-anyone-with-half-a-brain explanation. As per the NYT:

Asked why Mr. McCain did not go to Capitol Hill after coming back to Washington to help with negotiations, (Mr. McCain’s closest adviser, Mark Salter) replied that “he can effectively do what he needs to do by phone.’’

I know what you’re thinking, but you’re really not being fair to the man. The sounds of silence on the phone can be extremely relaxing. If McCain called enough people (and by all accounts, he did), and kept his lip zipped long enough, he might spread enough relaxation around Capitol Hill to actually result in a breakthrough. That has to be what Salter meant, right?