1115.org

I think Jon Stewart has referred to Bob Novak for years only as a douchebag.

If you do a google for “bob novak” douchebag, it pulls up 2,310 references.

And today Bob Novak proved to the world exactly how right Stewart (and everybody else) has been all along:

In an exclusive interview with ABC 7 News, Novak, 77, said felt “terrible” about striking a pedestrian Wednesday morning while on his way to work in downtown D.C.

Metropolitan police cited Novak with failure to yield to a pedestrian about 10:07 a.m. at 18th and K streets NW, Novak confirmed to ABC 7 News.

Novak spoke to ABC 7 News as he emerged from a police car at the scene. Novak said he did not know he had struck anyone. Novak said he didn’t know anything was wrong until a bicyclist rode ahead of him and blocked traffic. The bicyclist, attorney David Bono, informed Novak he had hit a pedestrian.

“I see something of an older gentleman in the crosswalk get hit. The black Corvette convertible take a right turn onto the K Street service road; the pedestrian rolls off to the left and the car speeds away,” he said.

Bono dismissed Novak’s assertion that he never saw the struck pedestrian.

“There was a pedestrian splayed on his windshield — I don’t think there is anyway you can miss that,” Bono said.

Bono also said that the pedestrian was in a crosswalk and had the right of way.

Maybe I’m in denial, but I can’t believe that a lousy $50 citation for failure to yield to a pedestrian is the end of the matter (except for a possible lawsuit by the victim). This douchebag pulls off an old-fashioned hit-and-run, and he gets a citation for the hit, and that’s it? People pay much bigger fines just for speeding, for crying out loud. (I guess it’s good to be the c*cksucker of the king!)

If you are the praying kind, please pray with me that Novak still somehow gets his just desserts.

And since we’re clinging to that vain hope, if you are a legal eagle, pray inform us what is the maximum sentence for a hit-and-run involving physical injury in Washington, D.C. And the minimum, too; I’m hoping to hear three magic words: “mandatory jail time”. You and I may think Novak stinks, but he might be very popular in jail.

If you think Novak is a supreme douchebag, you might enjoy Politico’s account of Novak’s douchebaggery:

Novak said he was a block away from 18th and K streets Northwest, where the accident occurred, when a bicyclist stopped him and said, “You hit someone.” He said he was cited for failing to yield the right of way.

The bicyclist was David Bono, a partner at Harkins Cunningham, who was on his usual bike commute to work at 1700 K St. N.W. when he witnessed the accident.

As he traveled east on K Street, crossing 18th, Bono said a “black Corvette convertible with top closed plowed into the guy. The guy is sort of splayed onto the windshield.”

Bono said that the pedestrian, who was crossing the street on a “Walk” signal and was in the crosswalk, rolled off the windshield and that Novak then made a right into the service lane of K Street. “The car is speeding away. What’s going through my mind is, you just can’t hit a pedestrian and drive away,” Bono said.

He said he chased Novak half a block down K Street., finally caught up with him and then put his bike in front of the car to block it and called 911. Traffic immediately backed up, horns blared and commuters finally went into reverse to allow Novak to pull over.

Bono said that throughout, Novak “keeps trying to get away. He keeps trying to go.” He said he vaguely recognized the longtime political reporter and columnist as a Washington celebrity but could not precisely place him.

Finally, Bono said, Novak put his head out the window of his car and motioned him over. Bono said he told him that you can’t hit a pedestrian and just drive away. He quoted Novak as responding: “I didn’t see him there.”

A concierge at 1700 K Street said that she saw a bicyclist yelling and walked outside to see what the commotion was about.

“This guy hit somebody and he won’t stop so I’m going to stay here until the police come,” Aleta Petty quoted Bono as saying, as he stood in K Street, blocking traffic.

D.C. police confirmed that there was an accident at 18th and K streets NW at approximately 10 a.m. involving a black Corvette convertible and that the driver was a white male.
[…]
Novak, 77, has earned a reputation around the capital as an aggressive driver, easily identified in his convertible sports car.

In 2001, he cursed at a pedestrian on the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue and 13th streets Northwest for allegedly jaywalking.

“’Learn to read the signs, [bodily orifice]!’ Novak snapped before speeding away,” according to an item in The Washington Post’s Reliable Source column.

Novak explained to the paper: “He was crossing on the red light. I really hate jaywalkers. I despise them. Since I don’t run the country, all I can do is yell at ‘em. The other option is to run ‘em over, but as a compassionate conservative, I would never do that.”

Looks like he gave up on compassionate conservatism, just like George Bush did.

Meanwhile, please ponder that “I didn’t see him there.”

Novak didn’t say: “I hit somebody?” which is surely what you say if you didn’t know you had hit somebody. “I didn’t see him there” sounds very much like an admission that he knew he had hit somebody. Driving away after that is unconscionable. Still trying to get away after you’re physically overtaken and stopped by a cyclist is behavior that the English language does not anticipate, and therefore has no words for.