1115.org

I think we are about to find out. And I very much fear that (once again) we are not going to like what we learn.

Bush is in the middle of pulling another of his patented if-you-don’t-do-exactly-as-I-dictate-I’ll-tar-you-as-soft- on-terrorism stunts. In the past, the Democratic leadership (if that isn’t an oxymoron by now) has always folded. And they have always folded not because they are spineless wimps. They have always folded because we are driveling idiots. Or at least Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi believe that we are. They are convinced that when Bush and all his many mouths paint the Democratic party as being soft on terror for reasons that don’t begin to make any damn sense, we are incapable of seeing that they don’t make any damn sense. They are convinced that we will always reflexively believe whatever Bush says when he paints the Democratic party as being soft on terror.

It doesn’t matter how strongly the polls suggest that we are not buying this Bush-sh*t any more (and haven’t for a good long while). Reid and Pelosi have studied the Charlie Brown comic strips all too diligently. They know for sure that if they actually come running in to kick that football, we are always going to pull a Lucy and yank that football away. Always. No matter what we say. No matter what the polls say we feel. And so they’re damned if they’re ever going to kick a bloody football again.

The issue this time is the Protect America Act, which is set to expire on Friday, February 1. Specifically, it is the vitally important national security need to go on engaging (without interruption) in the largely unsupervised warrantless wiretapping that is crucial for keeping America safe, its children free and its women unraped. It is the critical need to keep this warrantless wiretapping essentially on the honor system, instead of being subject to the most basic constitutional safeguards.

The tactics of the Bush regime, and their blindly obedient horde of Republican enablers in Congress, are very simple. The status quo consists of a temporary bill that is due to expire. That is by Democratic design. The bill was made temporary in order to allow carefully thought out legislation to be crafted and passed (instead of some slapdash Bush-wet-dream of a bill being rushed through at the last minute), legislation that would incorporate checks and balances, legislation that would provide protection against abuse of draconian powers.

But the best Democrats even try to do is write and pass legislation that incorporates some barely-more-than- token safeguards. (Because nothing stronger would ever be allowed to pass by the Republican minority that controls all Senate business.) The blindly obedient horde of Republican enablers in Congress stalls even every such bill, using every trick in the book. (It helps that Republicans know every trick in the book, whereas Democrats not only know none, they can never even learn the ones the Republicans use successfully against them.) The oxymoronic Democratic leadership starts to feel more and more painted-into-a-corner- again panicky. In desperation, it offers ad hoc extensions of the existing bill, so that there is more time to write and pass carefully crafted legislation.

That brings us full circle. And in the past, Bush and his blindly obedient horde of Republican enablers in Congress have accepted such temporary extensions as the success they were looking for. (Because the status quo legislation had been written to be pretty damn acceptable; just one shudder short of a wet dream.) But not any more. Drunk on their past successes, confident that they can never lose, they are now preparing to force the Democratic “leadership” to pass a Bush-wet-dream of a bill.

Harry Reid offered the White House a short extension of the Protect America Act, which is set to expire at the end of this week. The White House has not just politely refused, they’ve bloody well threatened to veto the extension.

(Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid) said the House has already passed an intelligence bill and the Senate was ready to pass its own bill until Republicans blocked all amendments. “Democrats are ready to extend current law for as long as necessary, but Republicans are blocking that extension and the White House is threatening a veto,” Reid said.

Brilliant, isn’t it? Stall legislation to replace the old bill. Veto the extension of the old bill. Make Reid and Pelosi really sweat. And it all works because Reid and Pelosi just know that when Bush starts to blame Democrats for being so soft on terrorism as to deliberately leave America unprotected against another terrorist attack, you and I are going to rush to buy the Bush-sh*t. It all works because our utter stupidity will once again force Reid and Pelosi to give in to what they wish they didn’t have to give in to.

It’s probably too late to wish that Reid and Pelosi between them might suddenly grow even just one ball. But they don’t even seem to be able to grow one tongue. How hard is it to take what Bush is doing, and shine a harsh uncompromising spotlight on it, and make it clear to America that it is Bush and Bush alone who is playing cynical games with national security?

The best Reid could muster up is:

The White House threat to veto a short extension of the Protect America Act is shamefully irresponsible. The President is simply posturing in advance of Monday’s State of the Union address.

He also added: “But if there is any problem, the blame will clearly and unequivocally fall where it belongs: on President Bush and his allies in Congress.” But, of course, we all know there won’t be any problem. Because we’ve heard such speechifying from you before, Harry. And we all know what comes next. How you will reluctantly have to give Bush exactly what he wants. So that there won’t be any problem. And no blame will ever clearly and unequivocally fall on President Bush.

Americans, you see, are simply incapable of understanding that if the uninterrupted continuation of warrantless wiretapping (and all the other quaint and charming protective mechanisms that our government employs night and day to keep us all safe, and some of us unraped) is essential, then it is criminally irresponsible for Bush to veto the extension of the Protect America Act. There is simply no hope of ever persuading Americans that if Bush vetoes the extension, and then something drastic happens because we weren’t listening to the terrorists, or frying their testicles in oil, or whatever, then Bush is the only one who bears the blame. Americans — yes, you and I — would never be able to wrap their minds around that.

Sure, Reid says it (the blame will clearly and unequivocally fall on President Bush), but with no real conviction that we can ever be convinced. And to paraphrase a wise and witty recent leader of our times, Reid has to act on what he knows to be true, not what he would like the truth to be. And what he knows is that you and I are dumber than a dumbed-down version of George W. And that’s why things will no doubt once again play out just like they always have in the past. Because there is simply no orator in the Democratic party gifted enough to drive that message home to America with clarity and hypnotic force. (Yes, Harry, that is advice. Enlist Obama, you fool, to spell it out to the American people. That’s a heck of a lot better than folding yet again. People might even consider you a bloody genius for doing so. If so, I’ll send you a bill.)

Looking ahead to the conclusion that I certainly don’t hope for, but I very much fear is inexorably written into the script, is Harry Reid surrounded by any real security, do you know? If I were to go back to Washington D.C., for instance, after next Friday, do you think I could get close enough to him to fling a condom filled with dog-poop in his face? I used to be pretty good at throwing baseballs to my son. With any luck I could get one to hit him right on the nose, and to splatter beautifully in all directions.

If you happen to be in D.C. after February 1, and you happen to be within splattering distance of Harry Reid, and you happen to hear someone yell “Duck!”, please do yourself a favor. Just duck, okay?