1115.org

Here’s a very welcome development in TWAT. Louai al-Sakka, a “senior member of the al Qaeda terrorist group”, one “tasked with special high-level missions”, has suddenly decided to start telling his story. Without the assistance of water-boarding, or other tried and trusted loquacity-boosting techniques and implements:

Since being convicted as an Al-Qaeda bomb plotter last year, Sakka has decided to reveal his alleged role in some of the key plots of recent years, providing a potential insight into the unanswered questions surrounding them.

His lawyer, Osman Karahan, (”who shares his fervent support for militant Islamic jihad”) has also got into the act:

Last week his lawyer claimed (al-Sakka) “was the number one networker for Al-Qaeda in Europe, Iran, Turkey and Syria.”

This story was reported by The Sunday Times, London. As far as I have been able to determine (which does, of course, mean: after careful and diligent research), The Sunday Times does not have a history of running April-Fool style hoaxes on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. And, as far as I can tell, The Sunday Times believes what Louai al-Sakka has said, and wants us to believe it too.

(There is a pro forma disclaimer inserted early in the story: “Some experts believe that Sakka could be overstating his importance to the group, possibly to lay a false track for western agencies investigating his terrorist colleagues.” But then it quickly continues with: “So who is the mysterious Al-Qaeda operative in the concrete cell and what do his claims tell us about the terrorist network and his role within it?” And holds forth for a good long while.)

Wants us to believe, that is, that Louai al-Sakka — a senior member of the feared terrorist organization that relentlessly trains its operatives in Advanced Interrogation Resistance as well as Artful Disinformation — woke up one morning in his cell, yawned and stretched, and remarked to no one in particular: “I believe I’ll spill all the beans now.”

Wants us to believe it even after we read in the Sunday Times story what al-Qaeda loved most about Louai al-Sakka:

His lawyer says the Al-Qaeda leadership valued a number of his skills. “But most important,” he added, “was that Sakka was incredibly secretive. Al-Qaeda tested him many times, but he never once revealed a secret.”

If any other senior al-Qaeda operatives in custody suddenly start to sing like songbirds, we’ll be sure to bring you that news too.

Personally, I think they will. I think that in one of his recent videotapes or audiotapes, Osama bin Laden announced (by secret code) The First International al-Qaeda Tall Tale Contest. The winner — through Osama’s personal intervention with the guy he calls his most merciful and compassionate god — will receive 25% more nubile virgins in the hereafter than his previously determined fair share.

(This would be al-Qaeda’s P.R. response to the “What’s Truth Got To Do, Got To Do With It” contest that Giuliani, Huckabee, McCain, Romney, Thompson, et al have been waging, which has brought them so much uncritical press coverage.)