I prayed for guidance. But apparently God is never so busy ignoring the prayers of others that he can’t ignore yours too. (Maybe that’s what they mean by omnipotence? Or does that mean “guaranteed never to need Viagra”?)

So since I had given Him a fair chance to “speak now or forever hold…”, I figured it was okay to post this story. The sad story of a man of God.

Gary Michael Aldridge was “51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church”. He was also a “graduate of Liberty University, and friend of Jerry Falwell“. He died in June, “while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking”.

The autopsy report reads:

The deceased was clothed in a diving wet suit, a face mask which has a single vent for breathing, a rubberized head mask having an opening for the mouth and eyes, a second rubberized suit with suspenders, rubberized male underwear, hands and feet have diving gloves and slippers. There were numerous straps and cords restraining the decedent. There is a leather belt around the midriff. There is a series of ligatures extending from the hands to the feet. The hands are bound behind the back. The feet are tied to the hands. There are nylon ligatures holding these in place with leather straps about the wrists and ankles. There are plastic cords also tied about the hands and feet with a single plastic cord extending up to the head and surrounding the lower neck. There is a dildo in the anus covered with a condom.
[...]
Clothing: The deceased was received wearing two (2) wetsuits, one scuba diving mask, one pair of diving gloves, one pair of slippers, one pair of rubber underwear, two (2) ties, five (5) belts, eleven (11) straps

Personal effects: One yellow metal ring intact on left finger, one dildo.

A sad day when you cannot be a political blog without also becoming a purveyor of pornography.