Somebody please help me, I’m horribly confused by what went down at today’s Blackwater USA hearing:

(Rep. Darrell Issa) brought out a massive placard of the ad showing General David Petraeus and launched into a full-bore assault on his Democratic colleagues, who, he implied, ran the ad themselves in the New York Times. “What they couldn’t do to our men in women in uniform,” he said — presumably meaning run their names through the dirt — they’ll now do to Blackwater. “I’m not here to defend Blackwater,” Issa said with the utmost sincerity, “but I am here to defend General Petraeus and members of the military.”

Does Darrell Issa think General Petraeus is a front for Blackwater? Does he think Blackwater is a front for General Petraeus? Does he think both Blackwater and General Petraeus are fronts for Halliburton? Is Darrell Issa a front for his own backside? Or does Darrell Issa just hate Iranians too, and it’s finally managed to drive him totally around the bend?