1115.org

It’s always refreshing to find out what happens when the government outsources big important projects, like the $1 billion IT contract awarded to Unisys a few years ago:

The FBI is investigating allegations that Unisys Corp failed to detect a Chinese Web site’s cyber break-ins on computers at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security and then tried to cover up its shortcomings, The Washington Post reported on Monday.
[…]
As a result, some 150 DHS computers were compromised by hackers using a Chinese-language Web site from June through October in 2006.

This is all standard stuff, and I’m sure the Free Market™ will appropriately punish Unisys with a trip to Chapter 11, etc. But what’s fascinating is the Fleischer/McClellan/Snow/Perino level of podium spin being produced on the PR floor at Unisys headquarters. I’ve reprinted and translated it as a public service:

Unisys, based in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania, disputed the charge with a statement saying: “We can state generally¹ that the allegation that Unisys did not properly install essential security systems is incorrect. In addition, we routinely² follow prescribed security protocols and have properly reported³ incidents to the customer in accordance with those protocols.

“… We believe⁴ that a proper⁵ investigation of this matter will conclude that Unisys acted in good faith⁶ to meet the customer’s security requirements.”

¹Ordinarily, denials use the word ‘categorically.’ ‘Generally’ screams “We can’t categorically deny this.”
²‘Routinely’ is not the same thing as ’scrupulously.’
³‘Have properly reported’ is not the same thing as ‘always report.’
⁴Who cares what they ‘believe?’
⁵Depends on the definition of ‘proper?’
⁶‘Good faith’ as in “We didn’t expose Homeland Security data to China on purpose.”

The real kicker to this story is the nature of advertising Unisys used to do in the late ’90s:

That effort, originated in 1998 at Bozell Worldwide, featured after-hours Unisys employees with computer monitors for heads — showing images that demonstrated they thought obsessively about solutions to clients’ problems, even during their leisure time.

I think I’ll start spending my leisure time writing damage control memos for Unisys that aren’t so obviously transparent.