Man, those Republicans really suck, don’t they?

Mitt Polygomney has given a whole new dimension to the concept of service to the country:

Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney on Wednesday defended his five sons’ decisions not to enlist in the military, saying they’re showing their support for the country by “helping me get elected.”

I’m wondering, of course, why that didn’t occur to Republican Florida state Rep. Bob Allen when he was scrambling to explain why he offered to pay an undercover officer $20 to let him perform oral sex on the officer. “That’s my way of showing my support for the country” would have been a huge improvement on the thin nonsense he came up with.

No doubt Glenn Murphy Jr., chairman of the Clark County Republican Party, and — since last month, also the elected president of the Young Republican National Federation — is already planning to put that forward as his excuse for the actions which have led the Clark County Sheriff’s Department on Friday to begin “investigating Murphy for alleged criminal deviate conduct — potentially a class B felony — after speaking with a 22-year-old man who claimed that on July 31, Murphy performed an unwanted sex act on him while the man slept in a relative’s Jeffersonville home”.

I can see Murphy standing in front of his bathroom mirror, practicing: “Just my way of showing my support for the country, your honor.”

Murphy, it seems, is a serial patriot:

In 1998, a 21-year-old male filed a similar report with Clarksville police claiming Murphy attempted to perform a sex act on him while he was sleeping. Charges were never filed in that case.

(What is it with Republicans and this uncontrollable urge to suck d*ck? Do they have secret ceremonies in which up-and-coming Republicans perform the ritual of “Kiss my ass and suck my d*ck”? And after a while it just becomes a compulsive habit for the really dedicated Republicans?)

When you think about Alberto Gonzales serving at the pleasure of the President, it kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Doesn’t take a whole lot of pleasuring before you can’t fire the guy any more. No matter what else he’s done.