1115.org

You may not be, but I am seriously concerned about the mental health of Sara Taylor. She doesn’t quite seem to live in the same world as you or I.

It’s frightening that people with such a tenuous grasp of reality could rise to positions of power in the White House. Frightening, but hardly surprising, of course. Nothing that happens in this administration can be called a surprise any more. Frankly, if tomorrow’s headlines screamed that Karl Rove had gone into the Oval Office, slithering on his belly Marine-commando style the last 20 yards, unzipped, and pissed all over the famous sunburst carpet — while President Bush was sitting in his chair, and wetting him a little in the process — well, frankly, I’d have to say that I knew all along that it was only a matter of time. Even if that was just the secondary story, the main story being that George W. had joined him and taken a dump, I still couldn’t muster up a convincing masquerade of surprise.

These guys are effing nuts. Nothing they do in office should surprise us any more. If it does, then we’re nuts too.

But back to poor Sara. First there was all that confusion about the oath she took. Why do people in the Bush White House seem to be utterly convinced they swore an oath to the President? Is there a second secret ceremony which takes place at the dead of night, in some subterranean chamber, where everyone wears hoods over their faces and new White House aides are brought in one by one, possibly naked, to go down on their knees before the President — kneepads being thoughtfully provided — to kiss his ring, among other things, and swear eternal loyalty to his person? A ceremony which cannot be spoken of even under oath? A ceremony which involves not just the kissing of things but the drinking of fluids too? (I don’t know where your dirty mind just went, but I’m thinking only of sheep’s blood in ritual goblets.)

Then there were her beyond bizarre remarks about fired U.S. Attorney Bud Cummins:

“To the best of my knowledge, Mr. Cummins had been considering leaving. Mr. Cummins had announced in the press that he was leaving,” Taylor said. “Mr. Cummins had said in the press that he’d been thinking of leaving for a year. Mr. Cummins further said that he was — one of the reasons he was leaving is that he had four children, either college age or heading to college at some point.

“… But it’s sad because, unfortunately, he had already said he was leaving, so here we are talking about a guy who wanted to leave getting fired. And had people communicated this, we might not find ourselves in this situation or sitting here today.”

If people had communicated (to whom, dear Sara? who was making the decisions?) that Bud Cummins was leaving, then he wouldn’t have been fired, and then — lo and behold — there wouldn’t be any U.S. Attorney scandal?

That I don’t effing believe. I don’t care what I said a few minutes ago. That I simply don’t effing believe.

Listen, she said this under oath. Can’t she be held in contempt? Can’t she be charged with perjury?

Didn’t at least one person die laughing in the hearing room? How did they cover it up?

I wish someone had thought to ask her if she still believes in the tooth fairy. And if George Bush is a living God. And whose ass the sun rises from every morning.