1115.org

Would you trust a man called Rita?

Especially when his output smells like this:

When (Taguba) briefed Rumsfeld the day before a May 7, 2004 congressional hearing, he said that Rumsfeld had complained then about not having a copy of his report. But Taguba said he had submitted copies to superiors two months earlier.

Lawrence Di Rita, a former top aide to Rumsfeld, said Rumsfeld had not viewed the photographs because he had been advised by his lawyers that doing so “could possibly materially affect the ongoing criminal investigation.”

What an AASO! This will surely go down in the annals of something, maybe The Annals of Pseudo-Scientific Gobbledygook Legalese. Because it is, of course, an Uncertainty Principle to rival Heisenberg’s: “the very act of viewing the evidence corrupts the evidence”. Or maybe there’s also an Immaculate Misconception involved: “the very act of viewing the evidence corrupts the investigation”.

Recall that Rumsfeld claimed not to have seen the infamous photographs till just before his May 7 congressional appearances. Taguba had told Seymour Hersh: “The photographs were available to him—if he wanted to see them.”

For some reason, Di Rita decided to address the photographs, but let’s note that he stayed away from offering any explanation for why Rumsfeld — the famously anally hands-on control-freak manager, the guy who always had to know eveything — studiously avoided reading Taguba’s report.

Also, Di Rita obviously never learned to quit when he’s not too far behind. He went on to helpfully add this gem:

He said Rumsfeld finally looked at the pictures the day before his congressional testimony, the same day he was briefed by Taguba.

Rita, honey: So, on the day before his congressional testimony, the lawyers suddenly discovered that it was okay, after all, to view the photographs? Now (because of the Second Law of Thermodynamics?) it wouldn’t materially affect the ongoing criminal investigation?

Seems to have worked just like Taguba said. The photographs were available to him. When he wanted to see them, he did.

In high school geometry, at this point we were taught to insert a Q.E.D.