Hubris, and the fine example of George W. Bush, leads me to compare myself to a probable presidential candidate.

Bush compared himself to Winston Churchill, and found he’s an improvement upon Winston.

The president confided to (Andrew Roberts, author of “The Churchillians”) that he believes he has an advantage over Churchill, a reliable source with access to the conversation told me. He has faith in God, Bush explained, but Churchill, an agnostic, did not. Because he believes in God, it is easier for him to make decisions and stick to them than it was for Churchill. Bush said he doesn’t worry, or feel alone, or care if he is unpopular. He has God.

And God, so self-evidently, has proved to be a reliable source of good decisions for George.

Newt Gingrich last week (in the context of lustful fornication outside the sacrament of marriage; in betrayal of said sacrament, actually):

There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There’s certainly times when I’ve fallen short of God’s standards.

I’m proud to declare that as far as I know I have never fallen short of God’s standards. (There! Now I am to Newt as Bush is to Churchill.)

In my case, of course, that’s because God has failed me. Failed, that is, to deliver to my inbox an authenticated copy of his standards. So if you’re reading this, God (which you may very well be doing,* since it includes two of your favorite people, Bush and Newt), please do me a favor, and let me have a copy. I could use a reliable source for how I’m supposed to behave.

But before me, dear God, please do everyone a favor and shoot off a copy to George.

Since Newt brought it up himself, with a view to improving his presidential prospects, how funny would it be if, at every public apperance which Newt makes as a presidential candidate, someone were to ask him: “Mr. Gingrich, do you still lust for lustful fornication outside the sacrament of marriage?” Or even: “How any times in the last week, sir, did you engage in lustful fornication outside the sacrament of marriage, and was it with a woman as usual or was it with a man this time, sir?” Or maybe: “How many times in a week do you engage in lustful fornication outside the sacrament of marriage, sir, and by when do you expect that practice will make you perfect?”

For that matter, there’s really no reason to ask these questions only of Gingrich, is there? In the spirit of equal opportunity, Rudy Giuliani and John McCain should also be allowed to defend themselves against any unfounded suspicions that may lurk in the minds of voters.

* Speaking of reading 1115, dear God, we miss you around here. It’s been altogether too long since you graced us with a comment.