1115.org

Are you one of the millions of Americans who had been worrying about the Bush regime’s controversial surveillance programs? The NSA’s domestic surveillance program, for example, the one that was warrantless for so long (because only that way could The Homeland be protected) before they claimed they had stopped living in sin and made an honest woman out of it. Or the financial surveillance program that has deeply discommoded not just Americans but all our European allies. Or any of the other surveillance shenanigans that appear to constitute a grave and arbitrary breach of civil liberties long held to be precious and inviolable.

If so, let me congratulate you on getting a good night’s sleep last night, probably for the first time in several years. All across America, you could literally hear the sighs of relief as the news spread like wildfire. As Laura Bush has prob’ly said repeatedly, good news travels so fast!

I see I have got so excited about the good news, that I haven’t even explained why I’m jumping for joy while dancing a jig and hugging every perfect stranger in sight. Put it down to lack of sleep. I was so excited last night, I couldn’t even sleep. I spent literally hours on the phone, sharing the joy in my heart with those nearest and dearest to me.

I’m talking, of course, of the news that the White House privacy board has certified that these two controversial surveillance programs do not violate citizens’ civil liberties in any way, shape or form. Whatsoever.

A White House privacy board is giving its stamp of approval to two of the Bush administration’s controversial surveillance programs - electronic eavesdropping and financial tracking - and says they do not violate citizens’ civil liberties.
[...]
After operating mostly in secret for a year, the five-member Privacy and Civil Liberties Board is preparing to release its first report to Congress next week.

The report finds that both the National Security Agency’s warrantless eavesdropping program and the Treasury Department’s monitoring of international banking transactions have sufficient privacy protections, three board members told The Associated Press in telephone interviews.

Both programs have multiple layers of review before sensitive information is accessed, they said.

“We looked at the program, we visited NSA and met with the top people all the way down to those doing the hands-on work,” said Carol Dinkins, a Houston lawyer and former Reagan administration assistant attorney general who chairs the board.

“The program is structured and implemented in a way that is properly protective and attentive to civil liberties,” she said.

The usual gang of enemy-emboldening suspects is attacking the report, of course (before it is even released, if you must know the full extent of their perfidy):

Democrats newly in charge of Congress quickly criticized the findings, which they said were questionable given some of the board members’ close ties with the Bush administration.

“Their current findings and any additional conclusions they reach will be taken with a grain of salt until they become fully independent,” said Rep. Bennie Thompson, D-Miss., who chairs the House Homeland Security Committee.

George Bush told us, and they didn’t believe him. Alberto Gonzales told us, and they didn’t believe him. Dick Cheney told us, and they didn’t believe him. General Michael Hayden told us, and they didn’t believe him. John Negroponte told us, and they didn’t believe him. Scott McClellan told us, and they didn’t believe him. Tony Snow told us, and they didn’t believe him.

And now the White House’s Privacy and Civil Liberties Board is telling us, and they won’t believe them.

What the eff do these people effing want?