1115.org

Good thing I don’t believe in reincarnation and karma, or I would be agonizing over what unspeakable acts I must have committed in my past lives. I’m still on my extended vacation. So I’m perched in front of a TV half-way around the world, with CNN as my sole source of election night TV news (and no internet access for the moment). There may be more cruel and unusual forms of capricious punishment for someone who has lived an entirely blameless life, but you’d have to work pretty hard to convince me of that.

I’ve been up and watching for just a couple of hours, and let me tell you that I’ve already had more than enough Candy Crowley and Lou Dobbs to last me several lifetimes.

In election night red carpet news, what’s with Paula Zahn’s red skirt? She couldn’t be pulling anything as unsubtle as signaling her fervent support for Bushism, so what statement is she really trying to make? My personal vote: a subliminal sexual message that she’s into Republican types of kinky sex. You know: bondage, torture, that kind of stuff. Maybe growling dogs enter into it somewhere. And pyramidal group sex positions.

Someone should sit John Roberts down and explain to him how brevity is the soul of wit. In response to Anderson Cooper’s “What did Rick Santorum do wrong?” he went off into a long convoluted paragraph. He could have just said “Everything!” Personally, I would have gone with “Coming out so strongly against man-on-dog sex.”

The one election result that exemplifies perfectly what this election has been about – and how deeply Bush and Rove have their heads stuffed up their asses (or should that be each other’s asses?) with their sanguine predictions – is the defeat of Republican Rhode Island Senator Lincoln Chafee. Although 62% of Rhode Island voters approve of the job Chafee has done as Senator (according to CNN exit polls), he was still defeated by Sheldon Whitehouse, because 72% of voters strongly disapproved of the handling of the Iraq war, and 62% of that group voted against Chafee. I’m really looking forward to seeing how Tony Snow spins this tomorrow. (Percentages are from memory, I can’t find them anywhere online yet.)

Wolf Blitzer on Hillary Clinton’s victory: “No surprise there. She spent millions and millions of dollars to get re-elected.” And without those millions her seat was in jeopardy, Wolfie?

*** Update, 9:45 pm ***

They’ve just put on Larry King. And, even on election night, I draw the line at watching Larry King. So even though CNN is my only TV source of continuous election coverage, I’ve switched channels. I’ll catch summaries on BBC till it’s safe to go back to CNN.

Just because voters have delivered a message doesn’t mean that Bush will receive it. My fearless prediction: If you think Bush has been living in a state of denial so far, wait till you see his 1 pm Press conference tomorrow. Though it should be quite a challenge even for him to talk his way around the fact that even after he laid it out so clearly, America has gone ahead and voted the terrorists to victory.

*** Update, 12:15 am on November 8 ***

Another fearless prediction, made by George Bush on October 25:

…we’re not going to lose, in my heart of hearts…

Maybe that was a trick prediction, because he doesn’t have a heart? Or maybe Bush and Rove and Snow will claim that even if he lost in the House, and even if he may still lose in the Senate, he did actually carry his heart of hearts.