I usually try to keep my personal life private, even from my friends, but it’s time to come clean.

I have been involved in relationships with both Scarlett Johansson and Rosario Dawson. I don’t have any proof, but thanks to a redefinition of the word “relationship,” I don’t really need any.

Q Well, one more, Tony, just one more. Do you believe — does the President still believe that Saddam Hussein was connected to Zarqawi or al Qaeda before the invasion?

Tony Snow: The President has never said that there was a direct, operational relationship between the two, and this is important. Zarqawi was in Iraq.

Q: There was a link –

Tony Snow: Well, and there was a relationship — there was a relationship in this sense: Zarqawi was in Iraq; al Qaeda members were in Iraq; they were operating, and in some cases, operating freely from Iraq. Zarqawi, for instance, directed the assassination of an American diplomat in Amman, Jordan. But they did they have a corner office at the Mukhabarat? No. Were they getting a line item in Saddam’s budget? No.
There was no direct operational relationship, but there was a relationship. They were in the country, and I think you understand that the Iraqis knew they were there. That’s the relationship.

Q: Saddam Hussein knew they were there; that’s it for the relationship?

Tony Snow: That’s pretty much it.

That’s pretty much it for anyone claiming that there are serious men running this country.

*This post in no way expresses support for Saddam Hussein, Zarqawi, bin Laden, or al Qaeda. It also is not intended to diminish my “relationships” with Jessica Alba, Sienna Miller or Angelina Jolie.

Thanks to John for the tip.