Senator Orrin Hatch, clearly a man on the lunatic fringe of once and maybe future Presidential aspirants, claims the terrorists are just waiting for Democrats to come to power.

One, I would like to challenge the crazy senator on this. Two, I would like to make a counter-allegation against the crazy senator, and everybody who agrees with what he said. (That of course, includes a whole long Who’s Who list from the Bush administration and the Republican party.)

Mr. Hatch, how the hell do you know? Are you claiming to be in contact with the terrorists? Does Osama send you regular email updates on what they are desperately hoping for? Maybe those videos they keep releasing contain coded messages for you?

Mr. Hatch, I’ll tell you what we know, we the vast unwashed American public. We know that the FBI itself was convinced on the eve of the last presidential election that Osama bin Laden deliberately intervened in the political discourse to try and ensure that the election was won by Bush rather than Kerry. His handpicked choice for President was George W. Bush, sir. If you can dislodge your head from that unsanitary place where it has unfortunately got firmly lodged, try to put that in your pipe and smoke it. The fact that the FBI was convinced of this is now a matter of public record. Your transparently self-serving and unsupported fear-mongering allegations don’t come close to trumping that, sir.

And now for the counter-allegation. I’m not going to pull a Hatch, and claim I know what the terrorists are waiting for or praying for. I do think, however, it’s a pretty safe guess they’re hoping for more of the same. That is to say, a Bush clone who’ll continue the same misguided doomed-to-failure policies in the War Against Islamo-fascism.

But here’s what I do know. Senator Orrin Hatch – like President George Bush or Vice President Dick Cheney or Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, among others – has been fervently praying for a good long while now for another major terrorist attack on the U.S., a successful attack. Unfortunately, neither al Qaeda nor anyone else has come through. So they’ve had to settle for quasi-plots and meta-plots, plotlings and plotlets, trash talk by wannabes and other pale, wishy-washy imitations of the real thing. But somehow Americans have stopped peeing in their pants every time the Bush men try to push the terror plot button. The Mad Hatcher and his friends have been desperately trying to throw a pee party. But no one shows up any more. Which must be very frustrating. So it’s perfectly understandable why the likes of Orrin Hatch would vent their frustration by saying to themselves: “So what if they stop responding to the fear mongering, they still can’t stop me from saying crazy sh** about the Democrats!”

You are of course welcome, Senator Hatch, to ask me how the hell I know what you’ve been fervently praying for. How the hell do you think I know? By paying attention. To what you say, and what you do. It’s really not very hard to fill in the blanks, you pathetic bag of burning dog poop. Yes, I know I’ve got my shoes all messed up. That’s okay; in a good cause, I don’t mind that too much.