It’s been a very long time since I put on my fly-on-the-wall hat. So I’m really proud to bring you this latest undercover exclusive.

Here’s the real scoop on Senator John McCain, which no one has cottoned on to yet. The Real McCain. Revealed for the first time ever.

The man is a true patriot. Selfless to the core (the full extent of which will astound you, as you read on). A man who has sacrificed all personal ambition, in order to rid the country of the potential prospect of being re-visited by the biggest scourge in our country’s recent politics—a Republican President who owes the far right big-time, and feels compelled to try and pay them back every so often. McCain knew full well exactly how much scorn and ridicule would be heaped upon him, how he would be vilified, when he chose the path he’s on. But he went ahead with it anyway. The fact that much of this scorn is coming from people who used to be admirers has got to hurt. But McCain knew up front what the cost was going to be, and how it was going to have to be paid. And he knew it was well worth paying.

He sat through the first four George W. Bush years with growing dismay. It is not known when he first framed the question in his mind: what can I do to make sure that in 2008 we don’t end up with a Republican president who is in thrall to the far right? It is not known when he came up with the answer. But the rest will one day be history.

It has been amply documented in the last few months to what extent McCain has totally reversed positions he previously espoused (especially when he ran for the presidency in 2000). For example, the Democratic National Committee put out the following release yesterday:

Arizona Republican Senator John McCain tonight will headline a New York City fundraiser for his Straight Talk America PAC. Unfortunately, as McCain has laid the groundwork for a 2008 presidential run, his famous “Straight Talk Express” has morphed into the Double Talk Express. On issues ranging from the Bush tax cuts, to the use of ethanol, to a Constitutional Amendment on marriage, to abortion, Senator McCain has flipped his positions on issue after issue in an effort to pander to the extreme right wing of the Republican Party.

“In light of all of Senator McCain’s flip flops and blatant pandering, New Yorkers are wondering which John McCain they’ll see tonight,” said Democratic National Committee spokesman Damien LaVera. “Will they get the John McCain who opposed President Bush’s radical special interest tax cuts or the John McCain who voted for them? The John McCain who said he opposed a federal marriage amendment, or the John McCain who told Jerry Falwell he would support one? The John McCain who derided ethanol or the John McCain who went to Iowa and advocated increased investment in its use?

The presumption, however, has been that he has executed this major flip-flop in order to further his smoldering presidential ambitions. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The simple fact of the matter is that you cannot flip your position on so many significant issues so blatantly and so transparently, and still have any reasonable hope of being elected President. And whatever else his detractors have accused McCain of being in the last few months, no one has ever accused him of being a fool.

So what the heck is McCain doing? He’s executing his own clever, and much more complicated, version of William T. Sherman’s famous “If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve.”

The idea is, of course, to shamelessly pander to the far right. In the race for the Republican nomination, McCain will be the candidate behind whom they put their weight. But in climbing into bed with the likes of Jerry Falwell he will – by the time he’s done – have repudiated so much of what he used to stand for that he will have alienated many if not most of the voters who supported his 2000 candidacy.

McCain is hoping this will be enough to cost him the nomination. That will produce a Republican nominee who will not be beholden to the far right the way George W. is, for instance. The far right will, of course, support this nominee when it comes to the Presidential election. But he will not have sold his soul to them.

McCain does, of course, realize that if his main opposition is the likes of Bill Frist, then he may well end up winning the Republican nomination anyway, despite his best efforts. But he’s confident that, in that event, the American public will never elect him President. Not after he’s so publicly sold his soul to the far right. And if need be, there’s many a slip he can still engineer between the cup and the lip.

So one way or the other, McCain is going to make sure that the entirely unhealthy influence of the far right on the American political discourse is going to be severely handicapped in the very near future.

This is a man of true vision and of an unimaginably fierce integrity. And I applaud you, sir.

Hopefully, one day you will be able to admit your role in reshaping American politics, and have your honor and dignity restored to more than its previous glory. But I know that just knowing in your own heart what you did, and why, is more than enough for you. And for that, I applaud you again.