1115.org

I certainly don’t claim to possess the wisdom of Solomon, but in my own modest way I would like to make a constructive contribution to the English-as-an-official-language debate.

Since it would be far too ignominious to require the President to go out and learn a new language at his age, the Senate should drop forthwith the proposal to make English the official language of the United States. I see no harm, though, in retaining the proposal to designate English as a unifying language.

But then, in the interests of being fair-and-balanced, the proposal should be amended to also designate Bushese as a dividing language. Bushese, of course, is that refreshing (and frequently entertaining) blend of almost-English and Orwellian double-speak, whose grammar is chiefly characterized by a requirement that at least every other sentence or thought be incomplete.