1115.org

A lot of lyin’ has gone on the last five years. A heck of a whole lot. You would have thought they had gone through every type of lie by now, and were well into repeats and re-runs.

We’ve had small lies, big lies, bald-faced lies. Lies of omission, and lies of commission. Lyin’ by misdirection. Lyin’ by proxy. Lyin’ with one hand behind their backs. Lyin’ with one hand in their pockets, and fingers crossed. Lying’ with one hand in our pockets. Lying’ with both hands in our pockets. Fresh-out-of-the-oven lies. Poor, tired, recycled lies. Organic, garden fresh lies. Low-carb lies. Chicken-fried lies. Wasn’t-no-drinking-at-the-ranch lies. Macro lies, micro lies. Budget-balancing lies. Squeaky clean lies. Well-rehearsed lies. Spontaneous lies. Teleprompted lies. In-your-face lies. Overweight lies, anorexic lies. White lies and flaming whoppers. Big-time lies, bigger-than-Texas lies. Grand jury lies. Top secret lies, open secret lies. Arrogant, in-your-face lies. Contempt-of-court lies. For-the-people lies. Unwarranted lies, warrantless lies. For-your-own-protection lies. Too-busy-with-national-security lies.

Then, just when you thought they must have run out of new ones to pull, along comes Bush to add a whole new layer to the lyin’:

I don’t think we ever said — at least I know I didn’t say that there was a direct connection between September the 11th and Saddam Hussein. We did say that he was a state sponsor of terror … We also did say that Zarqawi, the man who is now wreaking havoc and killing innocent life, was in Iraq. … I don’t want to be argumentative, but I was very careful never to say that Saddam Hussein ordered the attacks on America.

Now they’re starting to lie about the lies they told before. They can lie about the small lies they told, and the big lies they told, and the bald-faced lies they told. And when they get all the way to lies about the for-your-own-protection lies they told, it would be a shame to just stop there. So then, hopefully, they will start just start out again with new lies about the old lies they told about the small lies. And so on.

At some point, someone is bound to ask: “Hey, is this just for people whose misdeeds qualify as high crimes and misdemeanors, or can anyone play?” At that point, who knows? This could really take off. People throughout the land, fed up with sex and violence on TV, and reality shows, and sudoku, could turn this into the national obsession. Reader’s Digest would offer $300 for new and unpublished lies-about-lies-about-lies. The Washington Post would hold an annual contest, and publish winning submissions.

And once the entire nation’s energies are focused on this game, who would have time for war?