1115.org

President Bush is off to visit Pakistan and India this week. In an interview with the Indian television network, Doordarshan, he said: “On my trip to Pakistan, I will, of course, talk about the terrorist activities, the need to dismantle terrorist training camps, and to protect innocent life”.

So, no doubt we will see stories to this effect (especially in the Indian press, where they will command headlines). But there are two sides to every story, and the flip side of this one consists of what Bush will be saying privately to Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf. I imagine the pillow talk will go something like this:

B: (lighting the traditional cigarette) Pervie, baby?

M: (with a languorous sigh) Hmmm?

B: You know how India is getting to be a major player in the world economy?

M: (archly) Can’t we talk about something else, George?

B: No, listen, this is important, baby. Much as I love you, India is getting too big to ignore. I have to make good with them too, and be allies and everything, okay?

M: (pouting) I guess so. But you’ll always love me more, right? Remember, I know more ways to make you too big to ignore than India ever will.

B: (smooth as silk) Always, baby, always…You’re the best. But anyway, I’m going to have to say some things to make them feel good, okay?

M: Don’t worry, George! I learnt the facts of life a long time ago, as the actress said to the bishop! (giggles)

B: I’ll have to issue a statement saying we call on Pakistan to dismantle all the terrorist training camps.

M: (giggles again) You mean, the ones which don’t exist according to us?

B: Come on, Pervie, be serious for 5 minutes. I’ll have to make a public statement to this effect, okay?

M: Whatever! As long as you don’t go on TV, and look the Pakistani people in the eye, and wish democracy upon them. I can take anything else.

B: Anything? You ready for this again, honey-plum?

M: Oh, my!

(Discreet fade out…)