1115.org

(1) Reuters, 10/24/05:

Melanie Sloan, executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, a liberal watchdog group, said Republicans were “starting to undermine the prosecutor by implying that he’s only going to be able to indict on technicalities.” [See (2) below.]

“But perjury is not a technicality,” Sloan said.

No, it’s not. In the Clinton years it used to be a high crime and misdemeanor, remember? Surely, it’s still a crime? Or, breaking into wish-fulfillment verse:

A comically expressive mime
Found she just had to break into rhyme:
They really thought they
Would just get clean away
But perjury, sir, is a crime

(with apologies to the man with three wives!)

(2) Reuters, 10/24/05:

Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison of Texas derided any potential perjury charge as a “technicality,” and suggested Fitzgerald may be trying to show that “two years’ of investigation was not a waste of time and dollars.”

Hutchison’s spokesman, Chris Paulitz, said on Monday that the senator was not commenting on any specific investigation, but rather “was expressing her general concern that perjury traps have become too common when investigators are unable to indict on any underlying crime.”

Sarabeth Guthberg, executive director and sole member of Citizens for Responsibility and Accountability in Politics (“We ain’t never gonna use no acronym!”) said:

“Yeah, right!”

Funny how this lady, who has been making quite a name for herself, if not a career, out of spreading for the Bush White House, kept her views on perjury strictly to herself during the Clinton impeachment proceedings.

And to anyone who believes Chris Paulitz, please email me at once! I have a bridge in NYC that I’m looking to sell. Plus a vertical steel construct in Paris. Not to mention a huge tract of prime real estate bordering Iran, Syria and Saudi Arabia.

(Our sources tell us that Kaybee is spending major time standing in front of the mirror and practicing how to say, smoothly and fluently and without tripping up: “Let’s not be picky! Perjury is a crime when practiced by Presidents.”)

(3) Reuters, 10/24/05:

Asked about the uncertainty [about the outcome of the investigation], White House spokesman Scott McClellan said, “We’ve got to keep our energies focused on the things we can do something about.”

And what would those be, Scottie? Tell you what, you go ahead and send me your list of the things you can do something about. Meanwhile, I’m sending along my list of the things you can’t seem to do anything/much about:
• The Iraq insurgency
• Finding Osama bin Laden
• The budget deficit
• Global warming
• The worldwide fight against AIDS
• The worldwide war on poverty and hunger

And here, I’ll bet you my retirement money against yours that my list beats yours hands down. Verdict to be rendered by a majority of any 5 people who don’t have their heads up their ass. If you want to accept, just dodge every question put to you about the Fitzgerald investigation during the White House press corps briefing tomorrow, and smirk the first three times you do that. And, just remember, verbal implicit contracts are perfectly enforceable in court.