1115.org

Not long after John Kerry lost his Presidential campaign to George Bush, a picture circulated around the internet where all the Bush-voting red states were renamed “Jesusland” and the blue states were incorporated into the United States of Canada. It really wasn’t all that funny, but a lot of demoralized Kerry-voters were searching for something to make themselves feel better. At least no one was taking it seriously. Right?

Well, maybe not. I immediately thought of the “Jesusland” map when I read this story about the Christian Exodus movement, whose followers seem intent on actually turning America, or at least South Carolina, into Jesusland itself. Think pre-September 2001 Afghanistan, but with a better beachfront and less emphasis on beards.

At a time when evangelicals are exerting influence on the national political stage — having helped secure President Bush’s reelection — Christian Exodus believes that people of faith have failed to assert their moral agenda: Abortion is legal. School prayer is banned. There are limits on public displays of the Ten Commandments. Gays and lesbians can marry in Massachusetts.

Christian Exodus activists plan to take control of sheriff’s offices, city councils and school boards. Eventually, they say, they will control South Carolina. They will pass godly legislation, defying Supreme Court rulings on the separation of church and state.

“We’re going to force a constitutional crisis,” said Cory Burnell, 29, an investment advisor who founded the group in November 2003.

“If necessary,” he said, “we will secede from the union.”

It’s interesting to note that Burnell hasn’t himself moved to South Carolina; he’s still hanging out in godless California. But others in the movement have already bought houses in South Carolina, with more planned to join. One such individual is Mario DiMartino, who apparently needs something a little stronger than garden-variety Santorum:

“I want to migrate and claim the gold of the Lord,” said the 38-year-old oil company executive from Pennsylvania. “I want to replicate the statutes and the mores and the scriptures that the God of the Old Testament espoused to the world.”

Matt: “Does that mean he wants to be Jewish?”

Few people interviewed in the article expect Christian Exodus to be successful in their attempt to take over South Carolina from the more garden-variety Christian Republicans. But, at the very least, it should bring out some interesting holier-than-thou pissing matches:

Local Republicans, however, point out that they would never sit idly by while Christian Exodus took over.

“He talks about 2,000 activists, but I can easily get 4,000 activists,” said Bob Taylor, a Republican Greenville County councilman and a dean at Bob Jones University. “There’s incredible dedication to the [Republican] cause.”

Wow. Insert your own joke here.