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By now, you have probably heard about the shady dealings of San Diego Republican Congressman Randy “Duke” Cunningham, and his single-minded quest to prove Mobb Deep’s theory that there “ain’t no such things as halfway crooks.” From loan scams, to suspect real estate deals, to attempting to sell a Presidential pardon, to accepting undervalued rent on a crooked defense contractor’s boat, the Duke refuses to leave a single stone unturned in his quest to wrest the corruption crown from the greasy head of Tom DeLay.

Josh Marshall has been having some fun with the Duke, especially on the issue of the boat. Marshall found this story from Roll Call that brings a whole ‘nother element into play:

The yacht used to be called “Bouy Toy,” so named by its former owners, a gay couple, according to sources at the Capitol Yacht Club. Apparently, the fellas down at the marina kind of razzed ol’ Duke, a former “top gun” fighter pilot, about the gay-themed name. And apparently, Cunningham couldn’t take it. He changed the boat’s name from the sweet-and-saucy Bouy Toy to the mucho macho Duke-Stir in December 2004, according to Coast Guard records.

The Duke should have just gone all the way with the renaming:

(For all of our new readers, take a moment to catch up on a bit of an inside joke.)

And since Roll Call brought Top Gun into the story, let’s revisit the 1994 movie Sleep With Me in which Quentin Tarantino cameos as a man convinced that Top Gun was really a recruiting movie, not for the Navy, but for homosexuality:

Tarantino: You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.

Duane: Oh, come on.

Tarantino: Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it’s a story about a bunch of fighter pilots.

Tarantino: It’s about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around. It is a story about a man’s struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man.

Tarantino: You’ve got Maverick, all right? He’s on the edge, man. He’s right on the fucking line, all right? And you’ve got Iceman, and all his crew. They’re gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they’re saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.

Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?

Tarantino: Kelly McGillis, she’s heterosexuality. She’s saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They’re saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what’s going on throughout that whole movie…
[…]
Tarantino: All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they’re beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it’s over, and they fucking land, and Iceman’s been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he’s got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They’re all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, “Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!” And what does Maverick say? “You can ride mine!” Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin’ A, man!

It’s OK come out of the closet Duke. It’s either now or when you go to federal prison…