1115.org

The President’s Social Security roadshow continued this week with a pre-screened, Stepford audience, this time in Rochester, NY:

Tickets allowing lucky audience members inside to hear the president at the school were colored red, blue or gold.
[…]
James Bock, 12, of Livonia, Livingston County, and five members of his family learned they had “golden” tickets, which mean they’ll sit on stage with the president.
[…]
“I think Social Security should be changed,” said James, who said he’s thought hard about the subject, even though he hasn’t held a job yet. “We should have some of the money to put in a personal account and they should keep part of it for us.”

Gold tickets? What is this, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory?

The consistency is amazing. If Tim Burton had not just finished his own remake of Roald Dahl’s classic, the President’s version could be released this summer, a perfect match for the alternate reality his administration has crafted.

In the book, Veruca Salt, Violet Beauregarde, Mike Teevee and Augustus Gloop are the spoiled, privileged, know-nothing know-it-alls who get their just desserts in the end. Charlie Bucket’s family was so poor that they all had to sleep in the same bed, and he only won a trip to the Chocolate Factory after Grandpa Joe cleaned his net worth out of the sofa cushions to buy Charlie the candy bar that contained one of the winning gold tickets.

But in America circa 2005, up is down and Robin Hood Republicans take from the poor and give to the rich. Enter young James Bock, all of 12 years old and already an expert in the shell game of Social Security privatization. He and his politically connected family filled in brilliantly for the precocious, obnoxious children who this time get the keys to Social Security trust fund and their very own shiny new private accounts. Poor Charlie doesn’t stand a chance because Grandpa Joe’s investing skills were sub-par, and the change he finds in the cushions goes to pay off his creditors thanks to the new bankruptcy bill.

Rather than a cautionary tale about what happens to children who always get their way, the Bush treatment of Dahl’s parable rewards them all with golden tickets.

Remakes suck.