1115.org

Penalties for camcorder movie pirates? Check.

A never ending stash of Today Sponges? Check.

Soup for you? Check.

The brusque New York chef who was lampooned on “Seinfeld” as the “Soup Nazi” plans to open a chain of takeout soup stands across North America. But don’t expect the authentically rude New York treatment.

Signs will be posted in each of “The Original Soup Man” franchises bearing chef Al Yeganeh’s strict rules for ordering, such as “Have your money ready!” and “Move to the extreme left after ordering!” But a company spokesman said workers will be prohibited from shouting, “No soup for you!” at customers who disobey.

But apparently the rules don’t apply to the boss:

Yeganeh hung up on an Associated Press reporter who had lined up an interview — before a single question was asked — then refused all further requests for an interview.

I’ll be investing my “voluntary personal retirement account related program activities” in this company. They can’t lose.

Can’t wait for Jackie Chiles Drive-Thru Law Offices.