…to own what promises to be the worst album of the modern era: Collision Course by Jay-Z and Linkin Park.

If the excerpts that MTV has been showing for the last few weeks are any indication, making someone listen to this whole album would violate that person’s 8th Amendment right to protection from cruel and unusual punishment, many local and state laws against noise pollution, and most likely the 4th Geneva Convention protecting civilians in times of war.

There’s a reason that people stopped trying to fuse hip hop and metal, and it’s called the Judgement Night soundtrack. But if there was any justice, Dennis Leary would reprise his role and try to off these losers. I demand a sequel.

And wasn’t Jiggaman supposed to retire?