A Politician for All Times (Except These Times)
by matt at 6:30 am on July 29th, 2004 in Politics
I spend a fair amount of time online. Just like in life, idiots are a dime a dozen. But every once in a while I come across a special kind of idiot. Today, I’d like to introduce you to one of them:
Meet James Broadwater, a candidate for U.S. Representative from Mississippi’s 2nd district.
Earlier this year, Broadwater agreed to an interview with a man named Borat, a journalist from Kazakhstan.
As they walked around a neighborhood in suburban Mississippi knocking on doors, they arrived at the home of a young woman:
Broadwater: I’m running for United States Congress in District 2.
Borat: He is a strong man. He will crush his opponents and he will be powerful like Stalin and not tolerate people who are bad.
Broadwater: Well, actually, I wouldn’t compare myself to Stalin …
Borat: Will you vote for my friend?
Woman: Well, I probably will, but I don’t ever tell people who I vote for before I vote.
Borat: If you do not vote for him, he will take power!
Woman: Well, it depends on whether he gets enough votes or not.
Borat: I will not leave until you swear on the eyes of your child that you will vote for him.
For most people, an incident like this would have signaled the end of the interview, but Broadwater soldiered on while Borat used people’s toilets and asked them to hold his “package.” Broadwater went on to bash homosexuals, non-christians and others:
Borat: I want to go to this place heaven. Which religion must I choose to go there?
Broadwater: The Christian Bible says that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven.
Borat: If people choose the Jews, will they go heaven or hell?
Broadwater: Well, I would have to say that they would go to hell.
But Borat isn’t really from Kazakhstan, isn’t really a journalist, and Borat isn’t even his real name. He’s an alter ego of Sacha Baron Cohen’s Ali G, and the whole hilarious episode aired on his HBO show.
Broadwater was displeased, and issued this statement on what passes for his website:
I have been made aware that an interview that was done with me was played on HBO last night, and that it has been used to make Christians look bad and to make me look like a person who hates Jews…
See, he doesn’t hate Jews, he just thinks they belong in hell. What a guy.
Intrigued by this up-and-comer Broadwater, I decided to look into his positions and policies:
Having lived in neighboring Alabama, I was initially worried that Broadwater’s beliefs would make him a viable candidate in Mississippi. But then I learned that the Mississippi 2nd is 63% African American, and they love them some Bennie Thompson. In fact, Broadwater didn’t even make it out of the primary. Amen for that.
Since Borat did such a number on Broadwater, I think he should be unleashed on some other politicians. Any suggestions?
Booyakasha!
rob wrote:
sounds like a worthy STFU nominee if you ask me!
Posted 29 Jul 2004 at 6:32 am ¶
gijyun wrote:
broadwater could increase his visibility (and likely, his popularity) if he just voiced support for our war veterinarians coming home from combat.
Posted 29 Jul 2004 at 10:20 am ¶
Uncle Grambo wrote:
“my mother never loved me … she told me that she wishes that she was raped by another man!” - borat.
SO BEST!
Posted 29 Jul 2004 at 1:11 pm ¶
Steve Garfield wrote:
Borat Rules!
i just wrote a post about this too and linked to you.
Posted 02 Aug 2004 at 4:54 am ¶
Joshua Wachs wrote:
I linked to you too. Great writeup!
Posted 02 Aug 2004 at 1:58 pm ¶