If there is one thing that I have learned over the last three years, it’s that my chemical-free imagination is not up to the task of predicting the actions of delusional Christian fundamentalists.

One would have to be on some early 90s window-pane acid to foresee this:

Calling the approval of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts “the straw that broke the camel’s back,” a group of Christian activists is in the beginning stages of an effort to have one state secede from the United States to become its own sovereign nation.

Hmmm, when was the last time that secession happened? Ah yes, the 1860s when the issue was…slavery. The “Christians” must be so proud of themselves and their selective interpretation of the bible.

Luckily, they only want South Carolina, which is fine as long as they don’t try to take North Carolina as well.

In related news:

“President Bush has repeatedly, and continues, to justify the wicked; from advancing the homosexual agenda, to funding abortionists, to praising Islam, to signing unconstitutional bills into law that further socialism and shred our Bill of Rights,” said Steve Lefemine, director of Columbia Christians for Life.

I guess I can see their point, if by “President Bush” they mean “Al Sharpton.”

I think that each and every one of us needs to do whatever it takes to make these lunatics’ dreams come true. And yes, that includes praying you infidel.