Let’s Dispense With the Fomalities
by matt at 6:00 am on April 14th, 2004 in General“…not that there’s anything wrong with that” was a common refrain on Seinfeld whenever the conversation had anything to do with homosexuals. Predictably this formulation became a catch phrase that has outlived the program that spawned it. Like many that came before and since, it was funny for about five minutes before it became a pain in the ass to tack on to any sentence that referenced anything gay. Trust me, there is something wrong with doing that.
Along the same lines, Nick Catchdubs explained how “rapper” Cam’ron has taken to saying “no homo” after anything that sounds gay or even has to do with another man.
“I’ll be with my lawyer and I might say something ‘no homo,’ and my lawyer might look at me and be like ‘what?’ and I’ll be like ‘I know you have no idea what I’m talking about but I just needed to say that because I said something homo, no homo.”
Yes, this is one of the most retarded (not that there’s anything wrong with being retarded) things I had ever heard. Until of course I read that Cam’ron drives a pink Range Rover and is working with scientists to “invent” his own shade of pink, which I’m sure Pantone already offers.
“It’s unfortunate that I didn’t take advantage of the whole pink situation, being that I’m the one that really put pink in the market. Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein, they see me and be like, ‘Dude, you’re responsible for putting this in the market.’ I’m a trendsetter. It’s not just black people. You go up in Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, it’s pink heaven. I’m responsible.”
No word on whether Cam’s lawyer is trying to squeeze royalties out of Pepto Bismal, the Pink Panther, Pink, companies that make candy hearts, and God for making pigs, sunburn and all the other naturally pink creations.
Kind of ironic for a guy who ends every sentence with a phrase designed to immunize himself against perceived homosexuality.
As you can imagine, I don’t spend my time saying “not that there’s anything wrong with that” or “no homo”. But I do find myself saying something much more often than I’d like:
“I support the troops, but…”
Ever notice how you can’t criticize the administration about how the war is going without some right-wing yahoo saying “Why don’t you support the troops?”
Look, this country has come a long way since the Vietnam war when troops were spit on as they returned from combat. The national embarrassment that this caused has deeply changed how we look at the people who do our fighting. Only the farthest left wing nutcase would try to argue that the troops are responsible for what is going on in Iraq. It’s quite clear that for better or worse we are in this situation because of decisions made by elected officials, not professional soldiers. I resent having to preface my arguments with a nonsense expression because the other side has an untenable argument.
So from this day forward, if I ever say “I support the troops, but…”, I will dress up in all pink and say nothing but “no homo” for 24 hours. That’s the kind of dedication this country needs.
real eyes realize real lies on 04 Aug 2004 at 1:38 pm
another one bites the dust
i dont know what makes certain people tick but i do know that when i start making $1.6million/year like this ass-clown (used to), or 5million like this dude” (used to) i mos definitely will not be sniffing the nose candy,…