Of Breasts and Sporks
by Jason at 6:36 am on March 19th, 2004 in General
When hunger strikes, sometimes you have no choice but to play the hand you’ve been dealt. Such was the case tonight, when I stopped in a local KFC for some on-the-go grub, despite their craptacular “Kitchen Fresh Chicken / KFC What’s Cookin’” ad campaign. Considering the alternatives (Jack In The Box and Taco Bell), I decided to use the same approach as voting in the California Recall election: hold my nose and pick the lesser of available evils.
Now, mind you, I don’t eat a lot of fast food. It’s probably been nearly two years since I’ve plopped my ass into a booth at a KFC. But considering that the chain is trying to position itself a little bit upscale from the average McMeal, how bad could it be? Kitchen Fresh, here I come!
Of course, just because KFC advertises its food as being “freshly prepared” doesn’t mean that it’s forgotten it’s roots as a typical fast food restaurant. For one thing, you still have to place your order through a sullen teenager who barely speaks English.
ME: “I’ll have the chicken filet meal, please.”
COUNTER GUY: (puzzled look)
ME: (grabbing sign sitting directly in front of counter guy’s cash register) “The Chicken Filet meal…the one on this sign” (points to sign in hand)
COUNTER GUY: (Takes cardboard sign and stares at it for about 30 seconds, as if trying to understand the intricacies of particle physics or the popularity of Ryan Seacrest. Scratches his head. Proceeds to look at the cash register buttons as if the answer is printed there.)
ME: “This is on your menu. You have a big sign about it in your front window.”
COUNTER GUY: (to other cashier) “Uhm…do I ring this up as strips?”
OTHER CASHIER “I dunno”
Eventually, every person in the KFC kitchen converged around my man’s cash register, trying to figure out the hidden truths behind my order (for a product that was advertised heavily on tv, by the way). A line was forming behind me, the Kitchen Fresh crowd was becoming impatient, and then a little lunacy was added to the mix like so much gravy on the mashed potatoes:
ME: (impatiently) “The meal is a CHICKEN BREAST FILET. You advertise it. I promise.”
OLD GUY IN LINE NEXT TO ME: (with a lecherous wink) “So son, would you say that you are breast fed?”
ME: (stunned) “What?”
You certainly don’t get this kind of stuff at real restaurants. Or even Bennigans, for that matter. Thankfully the counter guy managed to pull it together and collect my food before the old guy could start making fart jokes. Finally, victory! A chicken filet (which, truth be told, didn’t seem particularly “kitchen fresh”), a biscuit, some mac & cheese and a corn-on-the-cob with a stick implanted in its side was my reward. KFC was even kind enough to provide quality utensils: a plastic knife and spork combo.
Now that’s class.
jamie wrote:
what has happend to service in this country? can you or munee explain HORRIBLE customer service everywhere i go (from the bank to the rite aid, now known in my circle as the WRONG aid) with some sort of economic or political principle?
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 7:38 am ¶
munee cashilini wrote:
I have servants. Having random people serve you is for poor people.
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 7:58 am ¶
adam wrote:
Jamie - This is a great topic. I really see it as a lack of professionalism. Generally people in the service industry don’t see themselves in the service industry forever, and thus don’t take their current job seriously or perform it vigorously as (I believe) they should.
Everyone needs a job for the most part, and I feel everyone should do that job to the best of his or her ability. Yet this just isn’t the case with many people because they are always “looking to the future” or “striving for something better” while being completely incompetent or mediocre in the present. People complain about lack of opportunity to chase the fabled American Dream, yet don’t want to put any effort into what they have on hand. I bet all the heads at “kitchen fresh chicken” that Jason went to all had some sort of grand idea for their futures. But don’t want to put effort into the present.
I also think for most people, doing a good job gives some sort of personal satisfaction, even if you hate the job you’re doing. If you can’t quit, at least get something positive out of it and do it well. Practicing and performing well at something shitty in the present only prepares you to do the same at something better in the future - ie providing quality work and performance. But people don’t want to do this anymore.
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 9:56 am ¶
tom wrote:
i never worked at a fast food restaurant, but i did work at a corporate record store. and let me tell you, it was hell. they would do some of the most asinine things, like put things on weird sales that had to be rung up in ways that didnt make any sense. things like these are almost always run from some retarded computer system. i went to KFC a couple months ago and they were switching shit to this nonsensical computer system where nothing was actually on the menu. i have no idea how they expected anyone to order anything except the 6 meals they had posted. i wanted a couple chicken strips, and they just werent on the fucking menu despite the fact that they definitely had them.
anyway, i bet i know how their “filet” works. i bet they take strips and put them on a bun and then make you ring it up as something other than a “filet” because that would involve actually adding something to the computerized inventory thing. never underestimate the power of corporations to make things impossibly difficult for employees who dont give a fuck anyway.
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 10:03 am ¶
sam wrote:
i’m much more inclined to I align myself with Tom’s comments. i think it’s a lot less about the puported lofty aspirations of counter jockeys than it is about the faceless, brainless, heartless world of the megacorp.
nobody working in your local KFC, Osco, K-mart or any other soulless, drab chain establishment gives half-a-shit about what they’re doing, not least becuase the corporation doesn’t give a shit about them.
Don’t forget, on average, they make $5.25 an hour. They are treated like dogshit by the store management, who only do so because they, in turn, are treated like dogshit by the corporate middle mgmt, who in turn…you get the idea. It’s the most shining example of a pecking order.
Also, don’t forget the race issue. Jason said that he’s tired of facing teenage attendants who don’t speak English. That’s going to be the case in most of these places in urban areas, and in much of Texas and California. As frustrating as it is——and I’m as deserving of a racist placard slung around my neck as the next guy——it’s gotta play a part. There’s some expected hatred going on, and it’s probably a two-way street. They see you as XYZ, you see them as ABC…etc. Now, this isn’t the case in every store with every attendant, but it’s gotta play a part, I think.
Bottom line is, the way our economy is built, and the increasing rigidity of class differences makes for a great deal of frustration and anger in the job world.
Tom’s point about the relative insanity of the way corporations tend to run things is paramount here. It’s entirely counterintuitive. They seem to do things SPECIFICALLY TO befuddle employees and screw the customer. All in the name of profit, I suppose. The sadder part is there’s really no one to blame. Capitalism buoys us all, and yet it seems to keep us from getting our lunch in a timely manner.
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 12:14 pm ¶
Jason (1115) wrote:
I almost feel guilty for posting this as a humor piece instead of some grand essay on corporate America and minimum wage jobs.
Me, last night: “It’s so enjoyable to post something light and breezy instead of bitching about politics like usual. Hell, I didn’t have to use the terms “Bush” or “the administration” even once! First spork reset of 2004! Rock on! ”
Me, today: “Uhm…what happened?”
Great commentary by all, as usual. But one thing (Sam, this is toward you):
All I’m saying is this: in a job where the primary function is to communicate with customers, it should be a given that the employee be able to actually, you know, comprehend what the customer is asking for. I think this falls under “common sense” rather than “racism”. It’s ridiculous that a customer should accept shoddy service just because it would be considered racist to complain about it.
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 12:53 pm ¶
tom wrote:
you gotta realize though that if you give employers any leeway to utilize racist hiring practices, they will. obviously it would be easier for everyone if all employees everywhere spoke the same language as all customers, but thats just not reality.
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 1:07 pm ¶
photosuperstar wrote:
“………in a job where the primary function is to communicate with customers, it should be a given that the employee be able to actually, you know, comprehend what the customer is asking for. I think this falls under “common sense” rather than “racism”. It’s ridiculous that a customer should accept shoddy service just because it would be considered racist to complain about it.”
Jason is completely right with his comment, and also, I can see how someone would want to make a “racist” accusation of the situation he was presented with, but not the case here at all.
When I had put up my other site I had problems with the uploading my files, I called the support line and tried to get help, instead I got pissed off because I could’n understand a damn word they were saying. Why? They were from India. My anger didn’t come from the fact they were from India and I couldn’t understand them, my anger came from the fact I bought a service from an American company in Connecticut and they outsourced their support line. Had I not figured the problem out, I would have drop their service and found someone else.
Do you think Jason will be hitting that KFC anytime soon? Maybe, maybe not.
Retail business, any service industry is based on the customer and how they are served. Plain and simple. Want return business, use common sense.
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 2:10 pm ¶
jamie wrote:
wow — i get a little bit busy and miss all the good stuff!!! i think there were good comments all around and everyone has a valid point but my burning question is: Tom, did you work for NRM? I worked at Waves (owned by NRM) in the 90s. talk about corporate shenanigans. . .it’s not brain surgery, it’s compact discs and back then cassettes. damn!
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 2:55 pm ¶
tom wrote:
yeah, i worked at the Music X in oakland, owned by NRM. those guys were twats, im so glad they went out of business. everything they did was seemingly to drive sales down. we were not doing great sales-wise so they repriced everything to mall prices, a bump up of between $3-$5 on every single disc in the store. customers who came weekly to drop hundreds of dollars saw that and handed us their frequent buyer cards and told us we could throw them out.
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 7:48 pm ¶
matt wrote:
I love people that don’t understand supply and demand. I mean it’s the most basic economic theory that there is, you would think that business owners would pay attention.
By the way, everyone missed the boat on this entry. Shit is funny.
Posted 19 Mar 2004 at 10:40 pm ¶
jamie wrote:
no one understand supply and damand, eh? how about the principle that says “don’t alienate your loyal following?
“. . .everyone missed the boat on this entry?”
Posted 20 Mar 2004 at 8:07 am ¶
matt wrote:
no money involved here. i’d still be writing if no one read it.
i don’t mind the side arguments (which are all interesting) but this was funny.
Posted 20 Mar 2004 at 8:37 am ¶
photosuperstar wrote:
I never said it wasn’t funny, I just see this happen way to often, even in Pittsburgh
Posted 20 Mar 2004 at 11:07 am ¶
tom wrote:
as for supply and demand, i think what has happened is that each fast food joint has found its niche, and now when youre in the mood you go where youre used to going. the convenience 90% of the time outweighs any annoyances really. i mean its not like one place is employing college grads so that their service is going to be obviously better than anyone elses. if youre in the position that you need fast food, youre not going to be substituting a sit down restaurant with superior service.
Posted 21 Mar 2004 at 9:57 am ¶
jamie wrote:
tom, as to your niche theory: this is the debate i have about the wrong aid everytime i end up there: i think it’s going to save me time because it’s the closest drug store and then it ends up costing me time because the sales people are idots AND i get frustrated to the point that had i walked further away it may have saved me time and frustration OR the cvs would have been just as bad, but further. . .
Posted 21 Mar 2004 at 1:38 pm ¶