1. I rushed home from yoga for this?!
2. How did I miss out on the sale on Ladies Red Blazers?
3. Do these things always start this late?
4. Wipe that smug look off your face!
5. STOP CLAPPING!
6. Is ‘partment a word?
7. Stop clapping and SIT DOWN!
8. ‘America faces a choice’ translation: DON’T ELECT A DEMOCRAT, PLEASE DON’T ELECT A DEMOCRAT!
9. Over two years without an attack on American soil – this is something to be proud of?!
10. Casablanca is a real place?!
11. I hate you Donald Rumsfeld!
12. WAR WAR WAR WAR!!!!
13. Patriot Act = big brother big brother big brother
14. ‘Honey Criminals’ – who is stealing honey?!
15. Yea! You clapped about the Patriot Act expiring!
16. Boo! Renew the Patriot Act? Why aren’t you booing?!
17. You can’t say Bin Laden, can you? Say it, Bin Laden!!!!
18. Nucular?! shut the fuck up!
19. Stop chuckling you muthafucka!
20. Baptists?! There are Baptists in Iraq? I dated a Baptist once.
21. 180 raids a week? how many deaths?
22. Thugs?! You are a thug!
23. What happened to your upper lip?
24. Thugs AND Assassins? Lord have mercy!
25. Patchacci? Like in Happy Days? He’d make a better president than you!
26. You flubbed Weapons of Mass Destruction?! Freudian Fucking Slip!
27. WAR WAR WAR BLAH BLAH BLAH SHUT UP!
28. ‘Some in this chamber did not support the liberation of Iraq.’ Translation: Democratics SUCK!
29. That guy keeps buttoning and unbuttoning his jacket – get a clue!
30. My boy cat is biting my girl cat.
31. A permission slip?! Are we going on a field trip?
32. AAAGGGHHHH! Did you just mention GOD?!
33. Shut the fuck up about god you pompous born again untreated alchy!
34. STATE OF THE UNION, UNION! NOT THE STATE OF THE MIDDLE EAST! AAARRGGGHHH!!!
38. Boy cat now eating my dinner!
39. Pro-athletes?! Gimme a break!
40. Did he say Stereroids?
41. Constitutional amendment to secure the sanctity of marriage when 1 out of 2 heterosexual marriages end in divorce?! you people better get out there and vote or else we are in some serious shit!!!!!

Laundry list SOTUs are nothing new especially those lacking a larger, unifying theme, Clinton used them regularly. But last night G-Dubs seemed to do him one worse: A length list of notches in the President’s belt—tax cuts, No Child Left Behind, the Patriot Act. But all of this masturbation over the past left people like myself curious about the future. Even the speech’s early climax regarding the war on terror was complete hind-sight. I was expecting an official kick-off to a rousing election year and what I got was a big, fat snoozer.

The only part of the speech was in the beginning when he attacked the Clark-Dean wing of the Democrats, “they view terrorism as more of a crime—a problem to be solved mainly with law enforcement and indictments.” Money quote: “…it is not enough to serve our enemies with legal papers. The terrorists and their supporters declared war on the United States—and war is what they got.” It was the only good thing worth mentioning during the entire speech.

That’s fine rhetoric to combat your opponents, but what about the future? What about our plans to hand-over Iraq, the democratic uprisings in Iran, continued instability in Pakistan and Indonesia, our frustration with Syria, the reclusiveness (word?) of North Korea? Where’s the stuff real foreign policy is made of? Where’s the cream filling? All I heard was that things were going to be just fine. No worries.

What about the economy? There was no recognition that job growth is lagging economic growth, no word on how the Admistration’s work isn’t quite done. Is the President ignoring his father’s missteps? WTF? He just made himself seem so out of touch—placing himself in the proverbial supermarket checkout lane, just like his dad.

Next up was the deficit and gobs of big government morally conservative discretionary spending on social projects that are way right of center, and no explanation on how to pay for it. As a fiscal conservative, and social libertarian, I was dismayed by how much the Prez want’s government into the lives of Americans. I can handle the Patriot Act, but expanding the war on drugs to steroids (how did Brady feel about that camera shot)? mandatory drug testing in schools? abstinence programs? prevent gay couples from forming families with equal treatment under the law? Millions of dollars and no explaination on how to pay for it. Did I elect a Republican or Democrat?—for the love.

My thoughts: A State of the Union isn’t meant to respond to every little critic. It should be positioned as guide for the future and the President’s agenda. Arrrgh, will I look at the Democrats? Who knows, but Bush is making me angry enough to do so.

The “serving papers” line was a nice piece of language, but it was a false argument: no one ever suggested that in the first place.

You are right about the comparisons to Bush Sr. Out of touch indeed. You think people want to hear about economic growth when they fear for their low-paying jobs? He may have fucked himself on that one.

Big brother government. These people aren’t conservatives, and they don’t trust the free market. Handouts to business and invasive programs aren’t conservative. I just don’t understand how any good conservative can support this administration.

As a social libertarian, how is the Patriot act ok with you?

I think it is becoming clear that Kerry, Edwards or Clark would make a better more responsible commander in chief.

My favorite parts:

–Anytime they showed Teddy Kennedy: he was pissed.
–The shot of Charles Rangel falling asleep in his chair.
–The Tom Brady sighting.

Good times.