SOTU: Nothing to See Here
by 1115 at 6:00 am on January 21st, 2004 in Politics“I Love the Leader” - Homer Simpson
Random Thoughts on the State of the Union
Considering that this year’s State of the Union address was such an upbeat-yet-bland affair, those of us who were looking for humor had to take solace in NBC’s Tom Brokaw. Describing the security measures in place during the SOTU, Brokaw started waving around a foil plastic bag similar to those found in the Congressional chamber. These bags, he explained solemnly, contained gas masks “in case of a chemical or biological attacks.” C’mon Tom—this is a speech, not a heroic test of will. Brokaw later said of the President, “It seems like today is red tie day”. Thanks for using those hot journalism skills to help the colorblind…nice to know that insightful analysis carries the day at the Peacock network.
Welcome to the Photo-Op factory: As the president was making his way to the podium, a baby seemed to magically appear into his arms. Smiling, the president stopped and gave the baby a big kiss in the way that all good politicians are supposed to. Now, far be it for us to say that this moment was manufactured. But we have our suspicions. During the baby-kiss lovefest, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist exclaimed “There’s the shot of the night!”. And, in case a few photographers were busy tying their shoelaces, he repeated himself.
Watching the Cabinet walk in is like being at a mass arraignment. Oh the corruption.
Not one mention of Osama bin Laden. Not one acknowledgment that our “recovery” is only helping people who own stock and not people who work for a living. It’s OK that he didn’t make a 1 hour apology for how much damage he has done to this country, but a little honesty and reality would have gone a long way.
It takes gall to talk about education when he cut Pell grants by approximately 70%. Compassionate conservative credentials in full effect.
This speech was quite different than last year’s. Sounded like they really tried to play it safe. Only the response from Nancy Pelosi and Tom Daschelle was worse.
Fear and Terror: How many times did he say those words? Was he talking about the fear and terror of having to face a Democrat besides Howard Dean?
“No one can doubt the word of America” - Except the American citizens. Obvs.
Same for the National Endowment for Democracy which seems to be responsible for fostering democracy in the middle east. How’s that working out?
Happy days, jobs are on the rise! Yeah, those 1,000 jobs gained in December really put us over the top.
“The Kay report contained evidence of ‘weapons of mass destruction-related program activities” - WTF? That’s why we went to war? Seriously, it’s nu-cle-ar, not nuk-ya-lar. This man has had access to “the button” for three years now. Shouldn’t he be required to say it properly?
Although there was much talk of terrorism and rogue nations, there was very little in the SOTU that tied Iraq to terrorism. There was talk about torture chambers and nebulous “weapons programs”, but nothing that really connected with last year’s doom-and-gloom predictions. But Bush did lay out this choice nugget: the coalition led by the US “supported the demands of the United Nations.”
Perhaps inspired by Dean’s manic recital of states’ names last night in Iowa, The President was inspired to recite many of the “Coalition of the willing” country names. He wasn’t nearly as loud as Dean was, and he didn’t scream at the end, but it was a little weird to see the two speeches one day after the other.
The crowd reaction shots were my favorite part. Teddy Kennedy’s expressions and disgust were only topped by the (non-brass) military people in the audience. Could the military vote be up for grabs this election? I’d have to say that if the Dems put up John Kerry or Wesley Clark the military vote might be split in half. How would the Republicans feel about the overseas military ballots then?
At many points during the speech, Bush really illustrated the “upbeat” strategy that had been predicted. At times, especially when he was being applauded, he seemed almost giddy. It was interesting to contrast him to others in the audience—Dick Cheney kept his head tilted downward with a scowl that made him look like a Dickens villain. Condoleezza Rice, not to be outdone in the scowl department, looked like an actor on one of those old Keystone Beer “Bitter Beer Face” commercials. And Democrat Charles Rangel was apparently asleep when they trained the cameras on him.
It’s been a while since there was any heckling at a SOTU. I guess the Democrats in Congress just couldn’t let the USAPATRIOT act get mentioned without cheering for it’s expiration. Big Up to the cameraman who focused on Tom DeLay and John Ashcroft during that part.
While building his case for continuing the Patriot Act, Bush said that we must give law enforcement “every tool” to combat terrorism. In other news, the President and certain Republican leaders have refused to extend the deadline of the commission investigating 9/11—and this is a commission who has repeatedly claimed that the White House dragged its feet in providing needed information.
All good conservatives should be so happy about the $23 Million for drug testing in schools and doubling the budget for abstinence education. Add these to the other pointless tax cuts and cynical programs and we’re talking about a lot of money. Funny how there was no mention of how this is supposed to be financed. Oh yeah, on the backs of all the children brought into the Capitol as props. I forgot for a second.
Steroids? Someone start impeachment proceedings against Ahhhnold.
I thought we were going to the Moon. And Mars. Guess the polling wasn’t so hot.
I was walking out of the room when The President spilled a glass of water on Dick Cheney. Hopefully someone has that on tape.
John Kerry sounded great in his interview with NBC. The most effective 5 minutes and Democrat has had since Bill Clinton left office. I wonder how John Edwards feels about Kerry stealing his stump speech and turning it on Bush.
Actual screenshot from the White House’s SOTU page. I didn’t know that Hall of Fame Pittsburgh Steeler’s running back Franco Harris ever gave a SOTU.
jamie wrote:
Uncensored Thoghts on the State of the Union Address
1. I rushed home from yoga for this?!
2. How did I miss out on the sale on Ladies Red Blazers?
3. Do these things always start this late?
4. Wipe that smug look off your face!
5. STOP CLAPPING!
6. Is ‘partment a word?
7. Stop clapping and SIT DOWN!
8. ‘America faces a choice’ translation: DON’T ELECT A DEMOCRAT, PLEASE DON’T ELECT A DEMOCRAT!
9. Over two years without an attack on American soil - this is something to be proud of?!
10. Casablanca is a real place?!
11. I hate you Donald Rumsfeld!
12. WAR WAR WAR WAR!!!!
13. Patriot Act = big brother big brother big brother
14. ‘Honey Criminals’ - who is stealing honey?!
15. Yea! You clapped about the Patriot Act expiring!
16. Boo! Renew the Patriot Act? Why aren’t you booing?!
17. You can’t say Bin Laden, can you? Say it, Bin Laden!!!!
18. Nucular?! shut the fuck up!
19. Stop chuckling you muthafucka!
20. Baptists?! There are Baptists in Iraq? I dated a Baptist once.
21. 180 raids a week? how many deaths?
22. Thugs?! You are a thug!
23. What happened to your upper lip?
24. Thugs AND Assassins? Lord have mercy!
25. Patchacci? Like in Happy Days? He’d make a better president than you!
26. You flubbed Weapons of Mass Destruction?! Freudian Fucking Slip!
27. WAR WAR WAR BLAH BLAH BLAH SHUT UP!
28. ‘Some in this chamber did not support the liberation of Iraq.’ Translation: Democratics SUCK!
29. That guy keeps buttoning and unbuttoning his jacket - get a clue!
30. My boy cat is biting my girl cat.
31. A permission slip?! Are we going on a field trip?
32. AAAGGGHHHH! Did you just mention GOD?!
33. Shut the fuck up about god you pompous born again untreated alchy!
34. STATE OF THE UNION, UNION! NOT THE STATE OF THE MIDDLE EAST! AAARRGGGHHH!!!
38. Boy cat now eating my dinner!
39. Pro-athletes?! Gimme a break!
40. Did he say Stereroids?
41. Constitutional amendment to secure the sanctity of marriage when 1 out of 2 heterosexual marriages end in divorce?! you people better get out there and vote or else we are in some serious shit!!!!!
Posted 21 Jan 2004 at 6:05 am ¶
Greedo wrote:
Greedo’s analysis
Laundry list SOTUs are nothing new especially those lacking a larger, unifying theme, Clinton used them regularly. But last night G-Dubs seemed to do him one worse: A length list of notches in the President’s belt—tax cuts, No Child Left Behind, the Patriot Act. But all of this masturbation over the past left people like myself curious about the future. Even the speech’s early climax regarding the war on terror was complete hind-sight. I was expecting an official kick-off to a rousing election year and what I got was a big, fat snoozer.
The only part of the speech was in the beginning when he attacked the Clark-Dean wing of the Democrats, “they view terrorism as more of a crime—a problem to be solved mainly with law enforcement and indictments.” Money quote: “…it is not enough to serve our enemies with legal papers. The terrorists and their supporters declared war on the United States—and war is what they got.” It was the only good thing worth mentioning during the entire speech.
That’s fine rhetoric to combat your opponents, but what about the future? What about our plans to hand-over Iraq, the democratic uprisings in Iran, continued instability in Pakistan and Indonesia, our frustration with Syria, the reclusiveness (word?) of North Korea? Where’s the stuff real foreign policy is made of? Where’s the cream filling? All I heard was that things were going to be just fine. No worries.
What about the economy? There was no recognition that job growth is lagging economic growth, no word on how the Admistration’s work isn’t quite done. Is the President ignoring his father’s missteps? WTF? He just made himself seem so out of touch—placing himself in the proverbial supermarket checkout lane, just like his dad.
Next up was the deficit and gobs of big government morally conservative discretionary spending on social projects that are way right of center, and no explanation on how to pay for it. As a fiscal conservative, and social libertarian, I was dismayed by how much the Prez want’s government into the lives of Americans. I can handle the Patriot Act, but expanding the war on drugs to steroids (how did Brady feel about that camera shot)? mandatory drug testing in schools? abstinence programs? prevent gay couples from forming families with equal treatment under the law? Millions of dollars and no explaination on how to pay for it. Did I elect a Republican or Democrat?—for the love.
My thoughts: A State of the Union isn’t meant to respond to every little critic. It should be positioned as guide for the future and the President’s agenda. Arrrgh, will I look at the Democrats? Who knows, but Bush is making me angry enough to do so.
Posted 21 Jan 2004 at 8:02 am ¶
matt wrote:
Clark views terrorism as a crime? Look again. That’s just patently false.
The “serving papers” line was a nice piece of language, but it was a false argument: no one ever suggested that in the first place.
You are right about the comparisons to Bush Sr. Out of touch indeed. You think people want to hear about economic growth when they fear for their low-paying jobs? He may have fucked himself on that one.
Big brother government. These people aren’t conservatives, and they don’t trust the free market. Handouts to business and invasive programs aren’t conservative. I just don’t understand how any good conservative can support this administration.
As a social libertarian, how is the Patriot act ok with you?
I think it is becoming clear that Kerry, Edwards or Clark would make a better more responsible commander in chief.
Posted 21 Jan 2004 at 8:12 am ¶
tom wrote:
the immaculate receptions owns every SOTU ever. long live franco!
Posted 21 Jan 2004 at 9:21 am ¶
matt wrote:
There were more than one immaculate reception?
Posted 21 Jan 2004 at 9:33 am ¶
evan wrote:
Apparently y’all didn’t drink enough during the SoTU - it helped me out a lot. I watched on CNN, and during the Patriot Act part of the speech (right after the Dem’s rocked the house by cheering), the cameras panned to this incredibly creepy shot of Tom DeLay. He had one of those invincible, Illuminati looks on his face. My God, I never thought I’d see the devil, but there he was, chillin with the GOP. Figures.
My favorite parts:
–Anytime they showed Teddy Kennedy: he was pissed.
–The shot of Charles Rangel falling asleep in his chair.
–The Tom Brady sighting.
Good times.
Posted 21 Jan 2004 at 12:00 pm ¶
matt wrote:
Yeah, on the real, sobriety is cramping my stizz.
Posted 21 Jan 2004 at 12:13 pm ¶
tom wrote:
damn, you got me on that one. i hate laptop keyboards. franco still owns you.
Posted 21 Jan 2004 at 12:27 pm ¶