1115.org

Enough chit-chat — where’s my $%@!ing check?

It hasn’t even been released yet, but I already want to throw a brick at my television every time something relating to the “The Cat In The Hat” movie appears. It’s bad enough that another Dr. Seuss book has to get brutalized by Hollywood (wasn’t “The Grinch” bad enough?), but the marketing tie-ins for this movie are just excruciating. So far, I’ve seen CITH-themed commercials for Radio Shack, Mastercard, Burger King, Lays Stax Chips and Sierra Mist soda. And, of course, every single commercial is written in an awful pseudo-Seuss rhyming style. I don’t know about you, but watching a Burger King drive-in clerk flow Seussian rhymes about napkins and Whoppers makes me want to do something pointless and violent.

I would list some of the other marketing tie-ins I found on the internet, but it would probably give me carpal tunnel syndrome. Needless to say, it stretches from the usual (snack food and soda) to the ridiculous (The US Postal Service).

If you have time to kill, view this list.

I suppose I could rhyme up something to end this post, but my dignity (and yours) demands otherwise. I’ll leave you with this: it’s only a matter of time before the next Dr. Seuss movie appears….and a “Green Eggs and Ham” tie-in with Denny’s is kind of a no-brainer, don’t you think?

Genius.