I dialed 9-1-1 a long time ago

by matt

In my continuing effort to get arrested for treason…
Now I dialed 911 a long time ago
Don’t you see how late they’re reactin’
They only come and they come when they wanna
So get the morgue embalm the goner
[…]

Wicked Interview with Sy Hersch

by matt

One of the reporters doing the best work over the last two years has been the New Yorker’s Seymour Hersch. I am often in awe of his skill as both a writer and a reporter. He has broken several damning stories about corruption and conflicts of interest in how the administration has conducted […]

Jessica Lynch: Political Pawn

by matt

The pride of West Virginia
I’ll start this off by immunizing myself against the charges I am dissing
Jessica Lynch. I’m not. She chose to join the Army, she survived a
horrible ordeal, and conducted herself with honor.
The story behind the story has been explored by several (mostly non-U.S.)
media outlets, and the main conclusion has […]

Metrowhat?

by matt

I like my beer cold,
my tv loud,
and my homosexuals faaahlaming.
– Homer Simpson
What he said.
This was a subject I was going to ignore. The cacophony has been peaking
recently, and until now I was going to ignore it from the sidelines.
How could I continue to cover my ears when something like this […]

Breaking News From Springfield

by Jason

“Hello, I’m Kent Brockman, and I’m a cartoon character. Even so, I’m more credible than this guy.”
The legal department at Fox News was getting an itchy trigger finger. The Al Franken suit had been dismissed, and people everywhere were stepping all over Fox news’ trademarks in the name of something called “satire”. Call out the […]

The Filters Attack

by matt

The face of the enemy.
Since the prez keeps blaming the situation in Iraq on the filter, I thought
now would be a good time to put up some “wanted” shots so everyone
will know to keep an eye out for these killers.
It is unknown at this time how these individuals were able to fire rockets at
a hotel […]

Adidas all up in your area

by matt

Full disclosure: I was forced to wear Nike until I was 18 because my dad
worked for them. Not until I moved out of Casa de Neil was I able to wear
anything but Oregon’s finest. Ignorance was bliss (and free) everywhere
but on the soccer field. One of my fondest memories was the […]

Someone Please Stop The President From Making Up Words

by Jason

From today’s press conference:
“It is dangerous in Iraq because there are some who believe that we are soft, that the will of the United States can be shaken by suiciders”
Suiciders? The word “suicide” is not a verb in any version of English that I’m familiar with…thus, it’s a little hard to be a “suicider” in […]

The New Classics

by Jason

WE KNOW DRAMA.
If you watch the TNT network with any frequency, you know that this phrase is repeated so often that it literally makes your head hurt. As basic cable’s self-appointed guardian of all that is dramatic, it has come up with some pretty interesting credibility stretches while trying to justify every single aspect of […]

Who Measures Up?

by matt

Administration engages in impromptu size contest
Who is frontin’ and who is on the real?

Pic courtesy of jamie